Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Super Human Alien Tricks and such...

OK, so this post is not going to have any pics... I'm having technical difficulties here... darn it! But maybe that will help me keep this blog down to a couple of pages... or not? It's not easy putting a muzzle on this one.

Just ask my husband.

But I really wanted to write regarding a couple of things that we have going on right now. And if I'm lucky I'll find a couple of you experienced mommies and daddies out there who can teach this old dog some new tricks!

So, one day I'm noticing that, HOLY COW! I might have just about lost that quad prego belly thing going on! But - waaaaiiitttt a minute here... something is a miss. I still have this strange cavernous area between where my ab muscles come together? And - EWWW! If I lean back just right the whole darned area pops out! GROSS! Hmmm... and what is THIS? It kinda' stays hidden throughout the day untiiiilllll mama T eats and then - POOF! There she blows again! No leaning back required this time?

Yes, it's official now.

I'm a super freak.

Now, my docs had warned me long before I had the quads that my ab muscles may never come ALL the way back together again after being so stretched out with this pregnancy. So, initially I wasn't THAT suprised to feel the separation - even after all this time. But the difference was this bulging alien-like thing I had going on... just in case you were wondering: NOT SO HOT.

In fact we recently had the opportunity to take the kids to see santa at the Great Wolf Lodge (and I do mean SANTA. this is the REAL GUY, folks.) and I was contemplating being one of those chicks who wears like shorts and a t-shirt over her suit as not to alert the public to my alien-like growth. And one thing I have honestly never been is extremely self-conscious.

Ummmm... you saw the quad-prego bikini pics, right? Yeah, I'm not telling you anything new here. This sista' has more war wounds on her body to show off than a lot of road kill - so I'm over it.

Sorry if you're not and you run into me in a bathing suit. I think it was kinda' weird for Jeremy as I was calling all my girlfriends looking for a one-piece suit to wear... SOOOOO not something I would typically worry about. And I did track down a one piece (thanks Beth!) - but in the end I said "F-it" and wore my normal 2-piece. I is who I is... I was there to tear that joint up with our kids, not be all self absorbed in my stinking bathing suit.

Yet nobody went all Ghostbusters on me, so I guess it wasn't as noticable while in constant motion?

Or, more likely, they felt sorry for the odd little carney girl.

But, the point of my story (FINALLY!) is that I have since learned that I have a 'massive umbilical hernia'.

Roger that. My growth is intestines and stomach bulging out.



They tell me that I have to have surgery to correct the problem or I could cause myself a heck of a lot MORE problems (it's gross - don't ask). And because of the size of my hernia I can not have laproscopic surgery (DANG IT! I really tried for this one...) nor can they do it as out-patient (most hernia surgeries are now).

Oh, and one more small thing: I can't lift anything over ten lbs for 4 weeks.

Summer is our ONLY baby still under 10lbs - and she's 9-1/2 as of last week so by the time I have the operation I'm out of luck! I'm not so sure how we are going to figure out what to do with mommy on the down-low. As of right now I'm just banking on the fact that I will heal up fairly quickly and it won't be nearly as long of a recovery period as they initially stated.

Probably just scare tactics, right?

Or not.

Seriously - I know enough after talking to the docs and doing my own research that I can't dink around with the "rules" on this whole gig. I don't want one of those attractive bags hanging off my waist for the rest of my life - that's for sure. And, more importantly, I certainly don't want to have to listen to my parents and hubby tell me "I told you so" for the rest of my life!

I mean, I typically have volunteers or some other form of help about 3-4 times/week - usually for 2-4 hours. If I am seriously as out of commission as they are talking for as LONG as they are talking... well... hmmm... may need to reassess, eh?

The good news is that Grammie is coming out of her orientation soon at Munson and so she'll be around a bit more by the end of the month. Right now she's essentially working full time with all sorts of tests and what have you, so we don't see her much. I hope that between Grammie and Jeremy's work schedules we can somehow rotate in the volunteers, Papa, Auntie Jessica, Uncle Hans, and even a visit from Auntie Kristy & Grandma Lew to cover our heini's - whew! It is going to be nuts, but I'm sure we will be OK.

What I am REALLY hoping for by sharing my tale is that someone out there reading our blog has been through this operation, or knows someone who has, and can offer some "here is what you are REALLY in for" advice. I know that a typical hernia is somewhat different than what I am dealing with - so if any of you multiple birth mama's can help a sista' out? Thank you in advance!


Moni Graf said...

Hey there, Super Freak! SO WHAT that it's not really an alien can still name him! Just kiddin'! Your post had me crackin' up, girl! If I would've been drinking milk, it would've squirted out my nose.

But back to business. Your docs are sure it's a true umbilical hernia and not a diastasis recti, right? A diastasis recti (henceforth referred to as DR because it feels kinda dirty typing recti :>) is when your abd muscles are stretched so far (like in a quad pregnancy) that they pretty much just lose their elasticity. You'd get the "alien-head" bulge with any straining but it would be unnoticeable when lying flat. The DR is not a true hernia because the fascia between the muscles is still intact. The fix for this is plastic surgery to tighten up the flaccid muscle and then a tummy tuck to get rid of the extra skin.

Chances are, if your doctor told you it was a large umbilical hernia (did your belly button pop out, too?), then he probably was pretty sure when he told you. Duh. The no lifting over 10 lbs rule is a must to abide by, but I think it would be okay to hold the babies if they were placed on your lap while you stayed sitting. Don't hold me to that. I've heard that recovery time is 2-4 weeks. Take that as you will.

Lastly, whatever your decision is, I would wager to bet that your family and friends will be there for you. It looks like you surround yourselves with great people!

I hope everything turns out well and if you have any questions about my ramblings, feel free to email me at

Love from KS,
Moni and the Graf Quads

Moni Graf said...

Okay, I just realized the dates on these last two posts. Surely they haven't been sitting there that long and I just didn't notice!

Maybe, did you start working on this post Dec 24th and then when you went to publish it, forgot to click on post options and change the date and time? Please tell me I'm not losing my mind.


Jessica said...

So I don't have any medical advice for you sis but I will say you have us at your beck-and-call, just say when. If you need some over-nighters, count us in as well, at least me and Ave. You have abs of steel, I'm sure your recovery will be a piece of cake!

Anonymous said...

Take care of yourself mama T.....
luv, gerri

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