Thursday, June 12, 2008

Holy pressure...

I know that I've mentioned that I've had pressure "down there" a couple of times in the past... and it's probably not something that had ever thrown me into complete and utter panic with my two previous pregnancies. Just recognizing that the weight of the baby (ies) were getting a bit more and I was feeling it more, right? I even remember my sister-in-law Jessica (who just had her first baby, our adorable new niece AVERY- see previous blogs!!) asking me about all the pressure she was feeling during her pregnancy and I probably answered something like "Yeah, I remember that a bit - especially with the twins further along - feeling like they were going to FALL OUT if I didn't watch myself!".

But this was before Jess went on bedrest and we knew that her cervix was going to give her a run for her money. And this was before I was 24 weeks pregnant with quads and was now HYPERsensitive to any new "developments" down there... if you know what I mean (sorry guys). So when on Saturday, after Jeremy's last day at Sagasser, I woke up feeling like something was seriously amiss down there I was a bit alarmed. I mean, usually I get that crazy pressure at night now - and it's most days - but I also recognize that I'm on my feet A LOT during the day running with my boys and it's expected that I need to take a break at night and LISTEN to my body (per Dr. Jelsema...). So I do try. I really do.

But to feel that way from the word "go" in the morning was a big much. And, as I suspected, it only worsened as the day went on. It actually got to the point where it physically HURT if I was standing during the day - what? So, I as much as it pained me to tell Jeremy about it, because I KNEW that it would totally freak him out, I had to be honest. I'm not one for complaining, nor am I really one to ask for help - but I knew that at 24 weeks I was scared to be feeling the way I was feeling. And so Jeremy and I did our best to keep me in a semi-laying down position for most of the day (or in the pool - which I figure was just as good, if not BETTER since I'm all buoyant!!). Even when we went out fishing that night (might as well use that boat while we can since it hasn't sold yet - oh - and neither did our stinking house after ANOTHER open house that weekend... we're starting to think we may be in a bind here shortly... ugh. C'mon St. Joeseph!! Help him out, Angel Meadow!! Tick, tock, tick, tock...) I did my best to lay in the back most of the time - which isn't easy for anyone involved when you are fishing with two little ones!! (BLESS THAT HUBBY OF MINE! He even ended up going over-board to save a fishing pole that Caleb thought might catch more fish if physically plunged INTO the lake... opps... it was an honest mistake... I'm sure ANY 2 year old could make it... and we remember Aiden doing the same thing when HE was 2 - gotta' test those waters, right?)

And thankfully, after all that rest on Saturday, I woke up feeling like a million bucks on Sunday. Just goes to prove, once again, that those docs know what they are talking about. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY, TONYA. And Sunday was a fun day because we met up with our friends Ivan and Sue Martsyz from Tech!! They live way up in Marquette, so we obviously don't get to see them much, but they were in Gaylord for a soccer tourney with their two girls. THE BOYS LOVED SEEING REAL SOCCER MATCHES!!! So, thanks Ive and Sue, for letting us know you were in town - it was GREAT to see you!!

Belly pic... belly pics...

24 weeks pregnant. Look at me grow!

And 24 weeks was one of our very first "landmarks" with Dr. Jelsema at our initial appointment with him waaaaaaaaaaay back when. We have now officially reached the point in our pregnancy where our babies have a CHANCE at viability. What a yucky way to think about your babies... but that's how it was worded to us. Prior to now, if our babies would have decided to enter the world, they probably would not have had a chance at life. Yes, miracles DO happen (HELLO!) and I too have read stories where babies were born prior to this and survived. But for the most part, 24 weeks is where they begin to have a chance at life AND a chance at leading any sort of normal life. Granted, the odds are very low that children born this prematurely are born without major defects that hinder them and their lifespan - but it can happen. And so - WE FEEL SO BLESSED TO BE HERE. 24 weeks, and through another great miracle from our Lord above, we are still carrying four healthy babies and have not had too many complications or incidents to date. PRAISE BE!!

It's horrible to say, and we feel horrible THINKING it, but we can't help but feeling like we are just waiting for some bomb to drop. I know, I already acknowledged that it's not the greatest way to think... but, again, we just can NOT believe that things have went THIS well for us throughout our amazing quad pregnancy. Especially now that we ARE so close and have come THIS far... all the doctor's talk about is the delivery and birth and outcomes, etc... it's all SO real for us and becoming more so each and every day. And yet there are times when we honestly can't believe that we've come this far. Did I already say that? I know. -But thinking back on those first couple appointments when 24 weeks seemed SO VERY FAR away... and the risks so high... and the outcomes so unsure... we knew to take it one day at a time. And we have. Perhaps THAT's why it's so hard to believe that, one day at a time, we HAVE made it a whole 24 weeks. That's a LOT of days... and looking back we also completely underestimated the power of the love in our lives and how it would transform our journey. We were, and still are, blindsided by so much of what has, and is, happening to us through the grace of God and those around us...

1 comment:

Brooks Family said...

Hi there! You don't know me, but I am a Tech alum (2003) and came across your website from an email on the Tech newsletter. I just wanted to say that I read your blog and what an amazing story thus far - I am excited to follow you in this journey!

I will keep your family in my prayers!

-Melissa Brooks (Metzler)