Monday, May 19, 2008

Let the story begin...

Well, I'm finally taking the plunge here.

Trying out my hand at this blogging thing.

I hope I don't bore you all too much. And I hope you like to READ with me in Captain's Chair!

First of all I would like to say THANK YOU SO MUCH to our friends who set this whole thing up for us. I know that we would not have done it on our own and I believe that the blog section in particular is extremely important for us to do. Throughout this quadruplet pregnancy I have gained the most insight and "real life" knowledge and advice from reading other quadruplet mom blogs. I do not consider myself all tech savvy, so I will attribute my finding them in the first place to absolute blind luck (read: Google search for quadruplet pregnancy)!! But once I stumbled on a couple good ones I was hooked - these sites are the daily lives, decisions, doctor's appointments, emotions, pains, joys, etc. of other families not so different from ours. The connection between us - even though we have never met, nor probably ever will - is one that so few people can relate to that it is an automatic match. I hope that I can now "Pay It Forward" with our blog and provide some insight to another mother of quads (to be) out there looking for guidance, reassurance, or just a similar voice amidst the masses of information and statistics provided by our doctors and specialists...

But don't get me wrong, I had no idea about this until it was US and I was reading my own thoughts and fears, only written on someone else's blog... and then I began emailing these women. I had no idea...

I would like to say kudos to my hubby as well for his amazing blogs to date. Man, that guy - eh? I can't tell you how many people have commented to me that they "were a bit shocked that Jeremy could write like that" and things of that sort. Pretty great, huh? You should see what he can do with a love letter... tee hee hee... oh - and a Bombay Sapphire straight up... but that's another story. Yes, back off ladies, I'm the lucky one here =) Poor guy just gets dragged through the embarrassment mud with me around. But in all seriousness I would like to say that my husband is my rock. Always has been, and always will be. In life, people talk about soul mates and so forth... well, it's not a cliche' in our household. We have had some horribly tough times that we have endured together, and through it all each experience has somehow managed to bring us closer together in the end... in my book THAT'S true love. Not coasting through the good times... so, thank you Jeremy. Thank you for loving me, for loving our family, and for standing by us 110% no matter what the obstacles. I love you more than anything.

Jeesh. Listen to me already. And I'm just getting warmed up! (did I mention that I tend to be long-winded? Hmmmm....)

Overall, my hope is that once I drag you all through the chronological events of how our family found itself in this particular scenario it will be an easier ride for all of us. What's that? The BEGINNING, you ask? Aren't we almost 22 weeks? Ummmm yep. But, being how I am, sorry kids. We start at the beginning. I can't bounce around. It would literally haunt me in my sleep!! AND, lucky for you all I have kept a pregnancy journal from the beginning and so... Shall we?

For the sake of time (and perhaps I'll get lucky and not scare you all off in my FIRST official blog), tonight I am only going to talk through where we started. So, sometime around last fall, we decide that we'd like to try "one more time". I think anyone who knows our family knows that we are absolutely enamoured with our two boys, Aiden (4) and Caleb (2) - and forever remember our angel Meadow who went to be with the Lord. No matter what, we knew that this would honestly be our last pregnancy. We had always talked about having more children, and we love having our boys 2 years apart! It is so much fun having them close enough to play together. They have grown to be the best (and occasional worst) of friends now that they are both a little older. But we also are keenly aware of how lucky we are to have two healthy children. We do not get pregnant the easiest, and we both agreed to that this one time would be our last. If it was meant to be, then great! But if God decided that our family was complete, then we knew we would ultimately accept that fate as well and have no regrets.
Which leads me to the one itching question everyone loves to ask: "QUADS? It couldn't be natural, right? What kind of reproductive assistance did you have? IVF?" I KNOW that people don't mean it the way it comes out... but let me tell you - please do hesitate to ask ANY WOMAN this question. Even if it is burning your mouth to get out - BITE YOUR TONGUE. I am fairly laid back and open about most things in my life, but this is such an ultra-personal question and it just FLOORS ME that people think it's OK to blurt it out. Honestly. Maybe I'm too sensitive here. Oh well. I doubt I'm alone, folks... so just think before you speak. I don't know why, but in my mind it is almost as if it lessens the excitement of your pregnancy, or authenticity of it, or SOMETHING when faced with this question. Much like adoption mommies must feel. "Oh, little Johnny sure doesn't look a BIT like your other children! Is he yours, or adopted?" DOES IT FREAKING MATTER? IS IT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS?
OK, down girl. Down. I'm off my soap box.
So, to clear the air, because I know y'all are simply curious and I'm a nut - yes, we are pregnant with quadruplets and no, it was not without some form of reproductive "help". I will tell you that it's not a LOT of help and we were shocked, as were our doctor's, that we were able to become pregnant with FOUR little miracles after the difficulty we have had. And, in the end, no matter where you stand on reproductive assistance issues, I hope you can all appreciate that what God has bestowed upon our family is certainly nothing short of a miracle. EVERY SINGLE HEALTHY BABY BORN is a God-given miracle and unfortunately it usually takes an unfortunate incident, or knowledge of one, to bring that back into the general public radar. Yes, we may have "help" getting pregnant, but in the end, we came to accept it as a blessing because we understand more about the entire conception to birth process that occurs inside a mother's womb. And to educate yourself is to watch the miracle unfold before your eyes. It blows us away when we think that we have four - yes FOUR - little ones inside me. But God does not make mistakes. Nor does he give any of us more than we can handle in this life. And we truly believe that assistance or not, we were chosen for this role. What an honor. (albeit a bit scary and overwhelming one at times.)


tmkunz said...

Jeremy and Tonya,
Your words inspire parents of all kinds. Thank you so much for sharing your story so candidly and beautifully.

I do believe God did choose you for this adventure because of the wonderful qualities you both possess. You are 2 of the most loving,caring,positive,energetic people I know. God knows your kids not only are well taken care of but loved beyond words. You have alway s amazed me with the love and attention you shower on your boys so I know you have enough to spare for 4 more.
You are the type of parents that inspire others to be better people and better parents.
You are all in our thoughts and prayers.
I look forward to following your journey.

Take care and God bless!
Melissa and Tyler Kunz

Steven said...

Wowser, good first blog T! Nearly brought me to tears, then made me question if I asked if you had assistance.