Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Another Day in the Life...

If someone could please explain this one:

I wake up this this morning, greeted once again by my handsome husband, as he gets up extra early so that he can visit me each day before work... it's the best way to start a day... especially one that is so void of my family these days. And one of the first things he says to me, after stealing my heart again with that loving smile and goodmorning kiss is: "How come you look so skinny today? Your arms look so thin... you just look anemic or something."


What on earth is this crazy man talking about? I've been on lockdown now for 2 days now doing about 1/30th of what I was prior to that in a day and he's asking me about looking skinny? Brotha' needs to get more sleep, or a little somethin' else - if you know what I'm sayin' (and make that TWO of us) - starting to lose his mind!!!

So... he gets me a decaf coffee before having to scoot off to work and I hop in the shower - the one thing I keep in control of every day to feel like a normal human being out of the gates. My luxerious shower (prop #2 to this hospital thing - ability to take as LONG of a shower as I WANT without any little heads peaking in and asking if I'm done yet? Can they get in with me? It's just me, the hot water, lots of soapy bubbles, a razor, and TIME.... ahhhhhh....


The curtain rolls back and a nurse pops her head in to tell me that ultrasound is here early today to do my doppler for the babies. So much for that pampering. Oh well - I'm pumped because we look forward to the doppler's every single day to keep a close eye on all the babies - but especially baby B.

So I lube up as quickly as possible and get dressed (I've made the executive decision that I'm on a "my clothes only" thing now for the duration of my lockdown- step #2 to feeling more human like!!) grab my coffee, my water and hop in that wheelchair (out the window flies all that "normal" effort I just put in) to cruise with my escort down to ultrasound.

Today the readings were fairly good again - not as good as yesterday morning for all of them, but A, C, and D were primarily in the mid 3's and low 4's with baby B creeping back up into the higher 4's and even one in the low 6's. BUT - diastolic and systolic flow for all of the babies and that is great news!!! I am pumped - another small victory in winning us yet another day to keep these babies inside of me!!

(Please note: July 22nd hath come and GONE, folks - YAHOO!! I'm not giving up so easily!!)

I get wheeled on back down to my room to be greeted by my nurse waiting to do my vitals - they do these like 4x/day or something: temp, blood pressure, etc. and today, apparently, she's doing my weight again. (I know you were wondering why I mentioned Jeremy's random comments above) They weighed me the night I was admitted and not since, so Monday evening to Wed. morning,

Results: 7 # loss.


Again, explain that freaking one to me!! I immediately panicked and was like "Check the numgers from Monday! How could this happen? Is it the self-imposed stress from being here and away from my family? Am I doing this somehow? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!?!?" We are here to help these babies grow and this is the anti-growth! But the nurse tries assuring me that it is all "water weight loss because my kidney's are functioning better now that 'I'm on bedrest."


I mean I give a couple pounds to the whole night time vs. morning (with no breatkfast yet) thing for sure - but 7#!?!? And on top of Jeremy's comments, it just worried me. So I run in the bathroom and pull out my tape measure to discover that my belly measurement went down from ~42" to 41" as well!!


So I have the nurse page Dr. McKay who's on call and he too chalks it up to the water weight loss thing... and he's not concerned in the least so neither should I be.


But that didn't stop me from ordering a big ole breakfast and being ultra-concious about consuming extra food today... I want these babies to hit 3# before we deliver!!!

Did any other mom's out there who went on bedrest have this crazy weight thing happen when they went on bedrest? It just doesn't make sense to me... but they aren't worried I guess....

Please know that I am NOT bringing this up for any other reason than we were SHOCKED by it. I have no issues/concerns/whatever about my weight gain or anything with pregnancy. I have stayed very healthy and my babies are very healthy and the doctor's have never once stated that I should be doing anything differently. I believe Dr. Jelsema said that I should write the book when I referenced one of the multiples books that tried telling quad moms to pack on up to 100# throughout the pregnancy... who is this healthy for? We liked Dr. Jelsema's theory that you can't force weight across the placenta and so stuffing yourself full of food does NOT have a direct link to your babies size (unless you develop diabetes because of it) - but it most certainly will have a direct link to YOUR size and inevitably make your pregnancy more difficult to manage.


Before I knew it my mom was here with the boys to take my mind off that silliness... light up my life! We painted mommies toenails, and opps, don't tell daddy, Caleb REALLY wanted to have some on too... shhhh..... Aiden knew better "that's for GIRLS" at 4 - but what harm in our little 2 year old?? He was so cute - he walked around with his toes lifted off the ground for the next 1/2 hour (can you see that in the pics?) to let them dry and he didn't want to wreck them! Again, shhhhhhhh....

And the boys made me some WONDERFUL artwork to hang in my room today too - Safari time!!

So, grammie takes the boys to the beach (boo hoo!!) and I get a HUGE breakthrough priveledge with my doc's today while they are all gone... Now trust me, it took some fanaggling (spelling?) - but I sweet talked my way into a TRIP OUTSIDE INTO THE SUNSHINE, FOLKS!!! That's right - a little heliotherapy goes a LONG WAY in mama T's book and I plead my case until they probaby just wanted to shut the crazy quad lady up and so they gave in!!!

Now, keep in mind this was a well thought out plan, my friends. After our good news at the doppler this morning I immediately began plotting what my next little freedom would be. And, alas, I had learned my mistake in shooting for the stars right out of the gate yesterday with my immediate "So, when do I get my release papers!?!?!" after our GREAT doppler news.... only to be met with hearty guffaws and looks of insanity.

What? What?

So, strategy #2 - aim a little lower. I knew it was supposed to be nice out for a couple of days and sista' LOVES the sun and being outdoors!! I couldn't figure out WHY they would have a reason to deny me a nice little heliotherapy break outside, right? Give mom a little sunshine, in more ways than one, and no one gets hurt - you know?

But when I STILL hadn't seen Dr. McKay (who was the busy as all get-out doc on call today) by like 3pm TLew decided to take measures into her own hands and called directly over to Dr. Madion's office to lay it on... THICK... "You're my favorite... you know that, right? And even MORE SO if you could do this confined mommy a little itsy-bitsy favor..."

You get the idea.

Within 15 minutes I had the nurse knocking on my door to tell me that I win the "bad girl" award for the day for going over everyone's head to get the call.... opps... I THINK she was just kidding... but the jury is still out. I guess Dr. Madion called them up and was all like "Will you just let Tonya get outside in a wheelchair for crying out loud?" Pretty sure she mentioned something about a heavy sigh... but maybe I imagined that in my own mind....


I still can't believe I forgot my camera in my rush to get into that wheelchair as quickly as possible before they changed their minds.... I needed to capture that bliss for you all!! It's the little things that we take for granted folks... the little things like the freedom to walk out into the sunshine with your children... and I was OUT THERE AGAIN for a full 45 minutes (thanks to nurse Jan!!). My only sadness was that my boys were still napping and that I didn't get to enjoy that time with them (great view of the construction action right across the street and all) - but wouldn't you know it about 10 minutes after we get out there Buddy and Suzy come walking up!! WHAT ARE THE CHANCES!!?? And although I didn't have my camera to get a picture of them, I had these gorgeous flowers waiting for me back in my room from them upon my return (they'd been in looking for me prior to finding me outside)!!! AREN'T THEY BEAUTIFUL!! And how sweet....

Buddy and Suzy are Jeremy's mom's cousin and his wife that live on west bay here in Traverse. Jeremy and I have talked about them several times and are so grateful now to be close to them and have this opportunity to get to know them.... finally. They are simply amazing people that fill your heart and soul with goodness and warm feelings just being around them - what a cute couple and they are just high on life and each other!! It's truly contagious. They are also the ones who have the two daughters whom have offered our family the use of their cottages once they leave for the summer... all without ever having even MET me or the kids and having not seen Jeremy probably since he was in little league... these are the types of amazing people we have in lives- and it's so hard to wrap our heads around all the blessings that have come our way through God's Grace.

Thank you to Buddy and Suzy for taking time out of your busy lives with both of your daughters and their families up to come spend time with ME today - you left me with such a warm, loving feeling inside and I really enjoyed our visit. PLEASE come anytime and I can't wait to meet your daughters and hug them to pieces for their generosity!!! (please let me know what their kids look like that work at Coldstone, I have to send Jeremy and the kids in for a 'Mommy Ice Cream Run' and they can introduce themselves!!) And, I hope I'm not over-stepping my boundary here... but seeing you two walk away hand in hand from the hospital today - after so many years together - obviously WONDERFUL years together.... well, it just reminded me of the love that Jeremy and I share and I hope and pray we too will be walking together as one in as many years of our marriage that you two have had and as deeply in love as you clearly are. It's great to see others who share in that special bond and I just wanted to let you know that it's so obvious and so refreshing and so... touching. Thank you. Thank you for re-entering our lives and sharing your goodness and love with us.

After my stint outside was over (BOO!!) my mom and the kids weren't far behind in coming back over - so I was thrilled to see my little muncha's again!! Here's a great pic of Grammie with the boys today (do notice Caleb's toenails, but shhhhhhh.....)

And then daddy was about 10 minutes to follow so I was in hog heaven with all my family surrounding me again!!! They couldn't stay long though being that it was dinner time, so off they trod to head to eat and (sniff, sniff) the beach.... miss you guys.

Dr. McKay finally had a free second between delivering babies to come see me after they left and I got confirmation that I am NOT getting released (had read between the lines on that one already so it wasn't a huge blow), that the babies are doing pretty good and that (drum roll.......) they WILL let us continue onto our August 7th date IF (and yes, it's a big IF) the babies CONTINUE to show good blood flow through the umbilical cords!! Regardless of the timing of the steroid shots I got Mon. & Tues - they agree that keeping them in me to grow, again, WITH good numbers from the dopplers, is the more beneficial of the two options. He acknowledged that yes, we have all established and discussed the fact that they are small... but he is not worried about that nearly as much as the blood flow considering our smaller baby history. And the weight loss? Nope. Not concerned. Again, they believe it's due to increased efficiency of my liver due to more rest and it's water weight loss/shrinkage. Okkeeedookee Doc.

While they were gone I was also hooked up for my second round of crazy baby monitoring - Jeremy referenced this circus yesterday I think. It's just nuts. And I agree, that it seems like a LOT of work (mostly GUESS work) to get info that would be super accessible down in ultrasound with a whole lot more accuracy and a whole lot less goofing around. But that's just our un-doctor opinions.

They are supposed to monitor the babies for 1/2 hour 2x/day (for this particular monitoring). Yet every time it ends up taking NO LESS than 1-1/2 hours because they can never a) FIND all the babies (and/or know with any degree of certainty who they are getting) and b)keep a heart beat on the babies for 30 solid minutes. No way, no how. Here's what the circus looks like: two nurses, one on either side handling 2 babies each and then the contractions monitor floating in the middle somewhere. Tonight, we were already 1.25 HOURS into the process when my family returned (silly us thinking we'd be done by the time they got back) and we still had almost no good data on babies A or B. But nurse Jan (below) wanted to give us some space along (bless her heart) and just left the monitors on with the hope that we'd pick up A and B.

So, being Lew's- we took matters into our own hands. Of course. And we got that darned baby A & B for her!! The boys were our good luck charms!! Or just loved to play with the monitors and check out how the numbers moved... but whatever - it worked!! Look at that close monitoring I'm getting!! Put those lil dudes on the payroll I tell ya'!!!

And in the end, it was another stressful, super sad goodnight/goodbye with my boys... and Jeremy and I were left wondering (him outloud) if it is doing anyone any good to bring them by to say goodnight... because it's SO painful. All tears and crying and sobbing... for everyone... but I can't bear the thought of NOT saying good night to them and kissing those little lips one last time and getting my big bear hugs one last time before they lay their heads down to rest.... there is just no easy way to decide what to do...

And with that, we have survived another day of confinement and praise God and each and every one of you for your prayers of support. Looking forward to a good doppler on all the babies again tomorrow - and the day after that - and the day after that - and the day after that...

Good night.


Meranda Lambert said...

Well...Little Mama....I did you proud last night at the HUP race. A very respectable 6th place out of 13. You did miss schafes hokey pokey dance but don't worry we have it on video. I didn't even get wet! This year I took the boat building matters into my own hands....and I am pleased to report that this lady showed those boys how to build a real boat! Missed you like crazy....Not the same without you....Stay strong and keep that cup 1/2 full!


Anonymous said...

Hi Tonya
Just to ease your worry, I lost 5 pounds in a matter of 24 hours while in the hospital. I had pre-eclampsia, so the kidney function was being monitored very closely. But I know how freaky it can be that you can lose that much weight that quickly! Keep up the good work! You're doing great!
Katie Verschaeve

Debby said...

Hey Tonya -- Meranda did GREAT last night at the HUP race, and you should have seen HER do the YMCA dance to the cheers of thousands! We missed you!

Kara said...

Hi Tonya -

I was on bedrest at home when I was pregnant with the twins. They had me drinking 3 HP boosts/day to help maximize nutrients to the babies. (This is a theory that many TTTS pregnancies follow) Anyways, that helped me pack on the pounds prior to having the twins. One still didn't reach 3 lbs, but it kept them both growing.

You and your family our in my prayers.