Quadopplers by Lew

Okay, so by now everyone knows that we rely heavily on the results of the Cord Dopplers for Baby B. I'm thinking about referring to our daily ritual as "Doppler Days" or "Quadopplers"? To me, Doppler Days seems like a party where we all get drunk...so we'll go with Quadopplers. They tend to look at you funny when you're pushing a pregnant lady around the hospital with a can of PBR in your hand...

So, ya'll should basically know the ins and outs of the Quadopplers. This is what you don't know:

I push Tonya from The Manor to the hospital in a wheel chair. In route to the hospital I tend to push Tonya at a faster pace than I should, she doens't mind, and it's fun for me to pretend I'm winning the race.

When you are pushing a lady that has a pregnant belly the size of Tonya's around the hospital in a wheel chair, most people stare at you and they have to be thinking this: "Is she gonna have that baby before she get's to maternity? Why is he smiling like that? Is he smiling like that because she has a watermelon stuffed up her shirt"

So we laugh and say something like "if they only knew" and we get to ultrasound and check in. The ladies at checkin are typically enthralled by us. Mind you of the "us", it's Tonya they are enthralled by. When Tonya was at the hospital, I could wheel her into the back door to ultrasound, mitigating any wait. However, those privileges are gone know that we are back at The Manor. Don't take that the wrong way, we still have pull, just not as much.

Speaking of The Manor, my song of the day when Tonya got released was a spin-off of that gangsta song that went "Back to the Hotel, back, back to the Hotel." I couldn't stop singing "Back to The Manor, back, back to The Manor." I loved it.

Anyway, so the nurse that does the ultrasound eventually peaks through the door and brings us back to the ultrasound room. We do the small talk thing and Tonya peels off belly bands and what not and lays on the chair, we'll use lounge chair instead. Then the nurse spews ultrasound lube all over Tonya's belly, maybe I'll get to do that one day, uh hu-uh hu, and gets down to business (the nurse, not me). Again, we dig the ultrasound crew, they are fun to talk too and tolerate us amateur doctors.

The first thing each nurse does is to try and figure out where The Quads are, actually were might be the better description as of late. I'm sure Tonya has mentioned that they have a big white board with a Quadiagram (notta typo) that depicts the location of the quads from the previous days scan (Tonya should be getting a photo of that soon). For the past couple weeks, Baby B and Baby C have been flopping around in there like a couple twister junkies. Baby A had been the doormat of the litter from the start. Baby A actually made a move for the better last night and got it's self situated in more of a breeched position. At least I think it's breeched, I have a hard time keeping all that stuff straight. Baby B and Baby C are all over the place on a daily basis. When I say all over the place I mean they flop around, but remain in the same general quadrant. Baby D is all sprawled out on the left side of Tony'a belly, D is the "womb hawg." So yeah, Baby B and Baby C have been making it a bit difficult on the nurses lately, but they have done a great job nonetheless.

Quadopplers always start with Baby A and work in alphabetical progression. The Quadopplers include a heart rate scan, the doppler scans (usually 3 per baby, sometimes more on Baby B), and a vertical measurement of the maximum fluid sack (amniotic fluid, you know, the babies food). Sometimes, Baby B or Baby C will be difficult, and the nurse will move onto Baby D and come back and get the other one. Also, sometimes the nurse will go back and do additional scans on Baby B. Like today for instance.

Typically we joke around when she's doing Baby A. Generally I say dumb stuff and what not like "yeah Baby A, that's text book flow" and the nurse will look at me funny and I'll say "yeah, because I know." Then she's done with Baby A and we hold our breath. The initial scan on Baby B almost always results in Baby B moving and causing a scary looking reading. We are still holding our breath. Then, typically on the second or third attempt, with the exception of last Monday, we can breath. I tend to talk more openly while the nurse is doing the scans on all the Baby's, including Baby B. Tonya tends to react to me, or not say anything and think not quite as positively as me. Which is weird, because normally it's the other way around with us, sort of, she is more positive and I am more of a realist (Tonya isn't a realist at the scans, she's scared). I am most always saying some sort of jackass like comment trying to be a doctor. Most of the time the nurse takes it accordingly, though sometimes I think they wish I would shut it. Anyway, then we go onto Baby C and Baby D and we joke and laugh and all that stuff.

At the conclusion, the nurse typically pulls up all the data on the screen for each baby and we can compare the results. We always say something positive about Baby B at the conclusion. Dr. M is supposed to call Tonya to discuss the results. That didn't happen today or yesterday. I believe he was a bit upset that he didn't get a call from ultrasound either day. Anyway, I think he told Tonya to do whatever it was that she did last week when Baby B's numbers "normalized" the day after the "quirky" numbers. And, amazingly, that is what Dr. Lew said too.

Then we bolt, I go to work, and Tonya goes to eat.

So today Baby B was all over the board. Some scans displayed a moment of no flow while some scans displayed good flow. The numbers for Baby B today ranged from the low 4's to 13.5. All over the place.

I should note that the location of the scan on the umbilical cord affects the readings. What I mean is the flow typically has a lower bottom end if the scan is taken at the insertion point (point where the cord connects to the baby). Whereas the further from the insertion point, the more "normal" the numbers typically look. This is particularly evident for Baby B. Though, I should note that the nurses typically try to get a scan of the insertion point for Baby B, and they don't typically do that for the other babies.

Whew, so there you go. Like you are all right there with us! Honestly, we love Quadopplers. We get to see our babies every day! It is wonderful. It's also amazing how much those babies move. Really, I mean there is like zero room in there and these kids are all over the place.

I must say, I felt some pressure with this blog. Tonya is to blame. She wanted me to "blog something funny" with regard to her release from the hospital. She put the pressure on and I failed to perform. Heck, a lot of you didn't even know she was released after reading my blog. Every dawg has his bad day, right...

I am going to attempt to get a tracker on this thing, never would have thought we would garner a following from people in New Zealand and Germany!

One last thing. Brian, the manager at The Manor, brought it to my attention a bit ago about someone calling to ask him what would be good items to donate to The Manor. Like I said, those are the ultimate donations...thank you.

Dr. Quadopplerwannabe