Thursday, July 31, 2008

Roll Out The Red Carpet........

I am proud to introduce the Lewandowski Quadruplets!

Baby A, born at 1:15 pm, weighing in at a not to be outdone 2#4oz, drum roll please, the one and only Lewandowski girl......Summer Anne.

Baby B, born at 1:16 pm, weighing in at a pesky 2#9oz, the problem child of the group.....Brock Hunter.

Baby C, born at 1:17 pm, coming out swinging at 2#13oz, the fiesty one according to the doctors.....Cameron Thomas.

Baby D, born at 1:18 pm, the heffer of the litter, weighing in at an astounding 2#14oz.....Dane Taylor.

Tonya could not have done any better and she is recovering well.

They grade the kids, it's called the arg something, after 5 minutes, two were graded 8 and two were graded 9. That is awesome!

We could not be happier, we could not feel luckier, someone was watching over us today.

The decision to deliver today was the correct one. Tonya's uterus was estimated at 4 cells thick, or paper thin, and broke open at the touch of the scalpel.

The Quads are all in the NICU. They are all doing good. One of the doctors came to give us an update. The x-rays of their chests aren't back yet, but they are doing good. One quad is on the respirator and the remaining 3 require assisted breathing. That is amazing! The doctor expects the babies to be feeding on breast milk within a day or two.

The baby naming formulat....huh, pretty neat eh! The clause was if there was only one of one sex, that babies name did not have to follow the first names starting with the corresponding letter from the womb, hence Summer. Come on, give it up, you all love the naming formula!

Finally, again, thank you all for everything you have said and done for us. We were very scared going into the operating room. Our team of doctors and nurses did an amazing job. There were on or around 23 doctors and nurses in the delivery room. It was poetry in motion. We are very fortunate for the team here at Munson.

We are praying that the babies stabilize and start to breath on their own. We have not had the chance to see them since birth. We will get to see them shortly. It will surely be difficult to see the assistance that they currently require. But again, we could not be any more grateful with how well they are doing and how well everything went.

One things for sure, that Summer is going to be well protected.....

All of our love and thanks,
The Lewandowski Family

Quad Day Has Arrived!!!!!

Today is the day.

1 pm.

I gotta go.

Thank you all. We never would have made it this far without all of your support!

Amen.

God Bless.

The Lewandowski Family

And the good stuff continues...

Good omens carry lots of good suprises... for instance, a positive doppler reading on all our babies... my mother being able to be up to help us... mama T getting released.... and then there are the ones like this: you and your hubby are discussing the fact that, duh, we haven't brought over a SINGLE preemie outfit for our babies yet and, DUH, they could be born anyday, so, DUH, we'd better get on that. And low and behold, that night (I kid you not) Bob & Katie Verschaeve stop by the MANOR with little Avery (that's right... back, back at the Manor) bearing gifts of boy and girl preemie outfits for us!! It came out of NO WHERE and we were so touched by their visit. Being that Bob & Katie spent time in the NICU here with Avery they had lots of insight to share with us... very sweet. Thank you V-fam, one of the chosen few to see where the Lew Crew is holed up these days =)

And then, the next day - KAPOW! T takes an exhausted turn for the worse. I'm not complaining, but I am GOING to be honest because up until this point I could literally count on one hand the number of times I would really classify myself as feeling EXHAUSTED ALL DAY. For example, even though I was out on release, I chose to LAY ON THE CURLY SLIDE at the park instead of even attempting to sit on a bench or push my kids on the swings. And I'm pretty sure several times I might have even dozed off... had Caleb not slid down on top of me and starting laughing hysterically... that little cutie. But this is not the mama T most of you know, and that's why I want to paint the true picture... didn't my hubby say that every dog has it's day? Maybe different context, but same principle. And, room confinement or not, I can't STAND being a boring parent, or parenting from a chair, or not interacting with my kids! Yet there I was, at the park, one of "those moms" in my own head. Ugh. I told Jeremy that I was either feeling the effects of our iffy doppler readings that morning (mind over matter EXISTS in my book) OR the babies were having a HUGE GROWTH SPURT and sucking all the energy outta' mommy!!

We like the latter explanation better ourselves too.

Wed. was a new day and a fresh start!! Great doppler that morning and so: Back to da' beach, BABY!

What, you wanna' see my boys muscles? Which way TO da' beach? Let them show you...








Buoyant mama T, ahhhh... playing in the water on a gorgeous summer day... it's LIKE I'm laying down because my belly is essentially weightless like this, right?

We had a blast.... a little motor boat, motor boat, anyone? C'mon - live a little!!! This would be about the same time nurse Carol had a Tonya sighting, go figure (all that luck I'm having with poor timing and nurses, eh?). Nurse Carol is GREAT, she's the one that was on the day of my big ESCAPE, I mean, RELEASE!!!





Look how cute we all are!!! I love my family so much... I only wish that Jeremy could be here with us everyday enjoying every second with our boys... it's been so amazing to have this time. Iwill cherish it forever.



Last night was pretty cool - my mom and I decided to have "Girl's Night" and so we headed to the deck at North Peak for some tunes and good food (LOVE THAT PLACE!)... plus we love to share our story with the WORLD nowadays (go figure) because I know we are down to our final week!!! It's always fun to see the shock value when they first "get" that we're not kidding... SUCKA'S!!! So, here's us chillin' - I partied hard with water, on the rocks, with lemon... oh - and a shot of club soda for that restless leg thingy at night... it helps!! Last night my mom got a separate room for us too so that we could watch The Notebook (thanks, Jen!) and cry in our own little girlie world... how fun is that!!!











And wouldn't you know when we got back, check out this awesome helicopter action... we haven't seen one of these yet:

Jeremy and the boys were PUMPED for the U of M helicopter - it was pretty slick.... too bad U of M came in behind Munson on some award dealy recently... otherwise maybe we'd wanna' deliver there, you know? HA! Just kidding...

And then, of course, our exciting night of contractions...


















What is a Contraction? by Lew

As we were told at 3 o'clock this morning from the nurses and doctor at Munson, contractions are what Tonya is having every 10 minutes or so since around 1 am...

Yes, I took Tonya to the hospital last night. She was concerned. She had pressure around her belly and was scared.

She tried to eat a breakfast bar thinking that would help - no.

She read her pregnancy book, specifically the chapter on pre-term labor, and that didn't help.

Both of those between like 1:30 and 2 am.

So after 2.5 hours or so of tossing and turning and worrying, she woke me up at 2:23 and said "Jeremy, I need to go to the hospital".

Horror! Not panic, just horror. Thinking about tired doctors having to do all this stuff brought a sense of horror over me. I know we don't have to worry, but geez.

In the end, I think we were both calm, actually pretty peppy for 2:30 in the morning...

Tonya just had sensations of pressure around her belly. I think it ultimately scared her thinking something could be happening to her scar. She has been concerned about that for a bit now after hearing of some horror stories from other pregnancies we've heard about at our time at The Manor.

Oh, if you haven't figured it out, I'm at work so everything is cool.

The Quads were all doing just as great as ever - I think the contractions were fun for them?

Tonya has Quadopplers right now and I'm on my way out to look for water...

We are not sure if Tonya will be back at The Manor after the Quadopplers or not. Tonya may update you all today, we'll just have to see what gives. If not, I'll get on it tonight.

The main thing is The Quads are fine and Tonya is too. Now she knows what a real contraction is. The Dr., who is the nicest lady every, especially at 4 am, told Tonya to use what she is feeling as a baseline for comparison to potential future contractions.

Also, Tonya's cervix is solid as ever, that is very good news, sort of expected, you now "La Cervexia" or whatever I called it awhile back...

Peace out,
Lew

Oh, I put that counter thing on the blog last night around 10:30 or so. I was responsible for 2 hits and have since removed by IP from the tracker. 137 hits when I got on here at 8 am - you people are nuts...

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Quadopplers by Lew

Okay, so by now everyone knows that we rely heavily on the results of the Cord Dopplers for Baby B. I'm thinking about referring to our daily ritual as "Doppler Days" or "Quadopplers"? To me, Doppler Days seems like a party where we all get drunk...so we'll go with Quadopplers. They tend to look at you funny when you're pushing a pregnant lady around the hospital with a can of PBR in your hand...

So, ya'll should basically know the ins and outs of the Quadopplers. This is what you don't know:

I push Tonya from The Manor to the hospital in a wheel chair. In route to the hospital I tend to push Tonya at a faster pace than I should, she doens't mind, and it's fun for me to pretend I'm winning the race.

When you are pushing a lady that has a pregnant belly the size of Tonya's around the hospital in a wheel chair, most people stare at you and they have to be thinking this: "Is she gonna have that baby before she get's to maternity? Why is he smiling like that? Is he smiling like that because she has a watermelon stuffed up her shirt"

So we laugh and say something like "if they only knew" and we get to ultrasound and check in. The ladies at checkin are typically enthralled by us. Mind you of the "us", it's Tonya they are enthralled by. When Tonya was at the hospital, I could wheel her into the back door to ultrasound, mitigating any wait. However, those privileges are gone know that we are back at The Manor. Don't take that the wrong way, we still have pull, just not as much.

Speaking of The Manor, my song of the day when Tonya got released was a spin-off of that gangsta song that went "Back to the Hotel, back, back to the Hotel." I couldn't stop singing "Back to The Manor, back, back to The Manor." I loved it.

Anyway, so the nurse that does the ultrasound eventually peaks through the door and brings us back to the ultrasound room. We do the small talk thing and Tonya peels off belly bands and what not and lays on the chair, we'll use lounge chair instead. Then the nurse spews ultrasound lube all over Tonya's belly, maybe I'll get to do that one day, uh hu-uh hu, and gets down to business (the nurse, not me). Again, we dig the ultrasound crew, they are fun to talk too and tolerate us amateur doctors.

The first thing each nurse does is to try and figure out where The Quads are, actually were might be the better description as of late. I'm sure Tonya has mentioned that they have a big white board with a Quadiagram (notta typo) that depicts the location of the quads from the previous days scan (Tonya should be getting a photo of that soon). For the past couple weeks, Baby B and Baby C have been flopping around in there like a couple twister junkies. Baby A had been the doormat of the litter from the start. Baby A actually made a move for the better last night and got it's self situated in more of a breeched position. At least I think it's breeched, I have a hard time keeping all that stuff straight. Baby B and Baby C are all over the place on a daily basis. When I say all over the place I mean they flop around, but remain in the same general quadrant. Baby D is all sprawled out on the left side of Tony'a belly, D is the "womb hawg." So yeah, Baby B and Baby C have been making it a bit difficult on the nurses lately, but they have done a great job nonetheless.

Quadopplers always start with Baby A and work in alphabetical progression. The Quadopplers include a heart rate scan, the doppler scans (usually 3 per baby, sometimes more on Baby B), and a vertical measurement of the maximum fluid sack (amniotic fluid, you know, the babies food). Sometimes, Baby B or Baby C will be difficult, and the nurse will move onto Baby D and come back and get the other one. Also, sometimes the nurse will go back and do additional scans on Baby B. Like today for instance.

Typically we joke around when she's doing Baby A. Generally I say dumb stuff and what not like "yeah Baby A, that's text book flow" and the nurse will look at me funny and I'll say "yeah, because I know." Then she's done with Baby A and we hold our breath. The initial scan on Baby B almost always results in Baby B moving and causing a scary looking reading. We are still holding our breath. Then, typically on the second or third attempt, with the exception of last Monday, we can breath. I tend to talk more openly while the nurse is doing the scans on all the Baby's, including Baby B. Tonya tends to react to me, or not say anything and think not quite as positively as me. Which is weird, because normally it's the other way around with us, sort of, she is more positive and I am more of a realist (Tonya isn't a realist at the scans, she's scared). I am most always saying some sort of jackass like comment trying to be a doctor. Most of the time the nurse takes it accordingly, though sometimes I think they wish I would shut it. Anyway, then we go onto Baby C and Baby D and we joke and laugh and all that stuff.

At the conclusion, the nurse typically pulls up all the data on the screen for each baby and we can compare the results. We always say something positive about Baby B at the conclusion. Dr. M is supposed to call Tonya to discuss the results. That didn't happen today or yesterday. I believe he was a bit upset that he didn't get a call from ultrasound either day. Anyway, I think he told Tonya to do whatever it was that she did last week when Baby B's numbers "normalized" the day after the "quirky" numbers. And, amazingly, that is what Dr. Lew said too.

Then we bolt, I go to work, and Tonya goes to eat.

So today Baby B was all over the board. Some scans displayed a moment of no flow while some scans displayed good flow. The numbers for Baby B today ranged from the low 4's to 13.5. All over the place.

I should note that the location of the scan on the umbilical cord affects the readings. What I mean is the flow typically has a lower bottom end if the scan is taken at the insertion point (point where the cord connects to the baby). Whereas the further from the insertion point, the more "normal" the numbers typically look. This is particularly evident for Baby B. Though, I should note that the nurses typically try to get a scan of the insertion point for Baby B, and they don't typically do that for the other babies.

Whew, so there you go. Like you are all right there with us! Honestly, we love Quadopplers. We get to see our babies every day! It is wonderful. It's also amazing how much those babies move. Really, I mean there is like zero room in there and these kids are all over the place.

I must say, I felt some pressure with this blog. Tonya is to blame. She wanted me to "blog something funny" with regard to her release from the hospital. She put the pressure on and I failed to perform. Heck, a lot of you didn't even know she was released after reading my blog. Every dawg has his bad day, right...

I am going to attempt to get a tracker on this thing, never would have thought we would garner a following from people in New Zealand and Germany!

One last thing. Brian, the manager at The Manor, brought it to my attention a bit ago about someone calling to ask him what would be good items to donate to The Manor. Like I said, those are the ultimate donations...thank you.

Dr. Quadopplerwannabe

Monday, July 28, 2008

The Whole Story...

For those of you who have asked "Who did you pay to get released?" I want to be VERY CLEAR that TLew had no part in her escape... opps... I mean RELEASE from Munson hospital. Like I wrote on the blog last week, after our appointment with Dr. Jelsema on Friday I was truly resolved that I was staying.

So here's how it ALL WENT DOWN, kids.

As Jeremy wrote, we had a visit Saturday morning from our friends Ben & Jen Wickstrom and their two little cuties on their way up north. For the record, there was really nothing "on the way" about it - we were at least a 1-1/2 hour detour for them, so thank you for coming!!

Here is Jeremy and Ben - then my camera battery went - argh!

Our doppler results that morning were not 100% clear to us or Dr. Madion when we met with him just prior to the Wickstrom families visit. Baby B's graph looked like shark fins with a low, flat line just above the zero mark. Typically, anything ABOVE this zero line indicates that there IS diastolic flow, but the graph looked really odd because it had these low flat plateau's that stretched for quite a while separating the "fins". (I hope you can follow me) Dr. Madion's concern, was that the plateau's were actually an indication of no diastolic flow but the graph was showing it above that zero barrier due to a calibration issue. Dr. Madion wanted to discuss the results further with the radiologist and then reconvene with us when he had a better understanding of what we were looking at.

OK.

Then, as Jeremy indicated, in the midst of our visit with the Wickstrom's, I received a call from my nurse (this is how they kept track of me when I was able to resume my outdoor visits.... never lose this lady again!) stating that Dr. Madion wanted to talk to Jeremy and I ALONE in our room regarding our doppler that morning. He had talked to radiology and wanted to discuss some options with us. That's all she told me. But she was very clear about the ALONE part and the NOW part.

OK.

Panic sets in once again.

Poor Ben and Jen caught the drift right away, how comfortable is that... and we all said our goodbyes. Thankfully my parents were there with us too and were able to take the kids. We had no idea what to expect... but as you can imagine, we were nervous and playing through every scenario (we thought) possible on our way back to my chamber... I mean, room.

This is where things get nutty and don't make sense (you thought my doppler talk was bad?). Dr. Madion walks in and proceeds to talk to us about some options that he's been thinking about after discussing our results with radiology. Apparently those plateaus, as weird and scary as they looked to us, were actually exactly what they looked like. Diastolic flow. And the reason for the long stretches between the shark fins was due more to Baby B's lower heart rate on that particular morning.

OK. Resume breathing.

But... options for what then?

Dr. Madion then tells us that after reviewing our doppler's from the entire week, after being admitted to the hospital, he's not sure that the potential benefits of the reduced activity level is out weighing the stress of my being in the hospital away from my family. He MIGHT'VE thrown in something about the strain he sees developing between myself and the nursing staff trying to "keep me grounded"... or something... but TOTALLY a side note =) Cough, cough... So DR. MADION tells US that he is OK with my being discharged THAT DAY to resume life at the Manor with my family.

Huh?

PLEASE NOTE THAT NO WHERE IN THIS DISCUSSION DID I OFFER UP THE OPTION OF LEAVING. THIS WAS 100% DR. MADION'S DOING!!! (although I know that I will never fully convince some of you that I honestly had nothing to do with it!!)

I am pretty sure that wanted to jump off the bed and hug him. Maybe I did? Can't actually remember due to the ADRENALINE RUSH BABY!! Hello good endorphins!!

Of course there are conditions to my release:

1)I HAVE to have someone with me 100% of the time to help with the boys.

2)I am allowed to travel within my directed "triangle" as established by Dr. Madion to ensure I keep a close proximity to the hospital in the event something were to happen. (hospital, manor, west end beach (what? what?))

3)I NEED TO MAKE A SOLID EFFORT to stay off my feet way more than I was prior to being admitted and let those around me help.

4)I have to use a wheelchair when traveling any sort of distance without a car (ie - when we "walk" to the hospital for my dopplers everyday... I ride. It's so pathetic.)

Dr. Madion assured me that he did not want to hear about "Tonya sightings" in Kalkaska (he honestly said Kalkaska... cracked me up... cause that's TOTALLY where I would go if I had a free pass for the day, right?) or at the Film Festival or anything... because he is very aware that he will take a lot of sh*t for releasing the crazy quad lady. But, HE DID IT ANYWAYS!!!

That's why we love that man. He KNOWS us well enough to really FEEL for our family and he tried his best to understand where we are coming from and what we are going through... he sat and talked with us for quite some time about how his wife and I are very similar in that we do not like to sit around or be cooped up and we can't stand to be kept away from our children... and I think he just related and followed his heart.

Of course, his parting words were like "You are leaving realizing that you may be back in here tomorrow. There are NO guarantees, Tonya. But I feel that this is the smartest thing for you, your babies, and your family right now. We will still see you every day and monitor your babies closely. So don't eat before your doppler's in case we need to deliver that day."

Huh? Deliver? Don't EAT? OK, OK.... I get it. We are SO CLOSE and every single day is a blessing. More so now that I get to enjoy them with my family again!!

Here is me with my mom and dad the night of my RELEASE at the park!! This may become one of my new favorite pics with them... look at my dad all holding my belly and stuff - HOW CUTE IS HE??

Here is our family on my first night of freedom picnicing at the park!! It was so odd to be so grateful for the little things that I had done whenever I wanted just one short week prior... every experience holds a purpose... and absence surely makes the heart grow fonder =) I've never enjoyed bedtime with my little guys so much, and never savored the sound of their little voices saying their prayers quite like that night. And, daddy had taught the boys that they have a "special prayer" for Baby B each night now while I was in the hospital... it melted my heart. We have always done "special prayers" for loved ones, friends, each other, Angel Meadow.... whom ever we feel compelled to say one for.... but this was so sweet to me... particularly because Aiden was like "Is it Baby D? No, Baby C? Oh. I think it's Baby B, right?" Couldn't remember which letter... it was the cutest thing.

Sunday brought another ultrasound - in which we learned that Baby B has some FRO', man!! That's right - we had a hair spotting!! It was hilarious!! Now I have a good excuse for all this acid indigestion, right? C'mon... you've heard the same thing... And a good doppler reading as well, no more crazy plateau's for Baby B!!! And clear diastolic flow!!! Then we wasted no time in getting mama T back to the beach!!! While daddy and papa were golfing we tore that West End UP!!

Check out that belly!! It's getting very torpedo-like!! The growth is nuts, eh? I have to admit that after only a week of hospital rest I can definitely notice the difference in the size and HEAVINESS of my belly. It's actually pretty odd. I wear all of my protective gear nearly all the time, but to walk or stand for more than 5 minutes I really feel the need to put my hands down under the belly and help support that rocket!! How quickly things grow at this stage - I hope we are approaching those 3#ers we are hoping for!!! This is me being SO GOOD laying down to help bury the boys and to lay some storm sewer pipe in the trench.

What? Our kids know every single piece of construction equipment used within a 50 mile radius of us - as well as the fact that there is storm sewer pipe, sanitary sewer pipe, water main... all of which are made from different types of materials depending on the application....

OK, I'll stop. But they are AWESOME!! Well versed in the world of engineering...(just ask my new friends: Stretch Mark 1 and Stretch Mark 2.... arrrrrggggghhhhhh) Which, by the way, actually HURT when they grow on my belly. Talk about adding insult to injury. NICE constant reminder of the permanent scars you are acquiring. Again, who talked me into those belly rings? That scar tissue just won't give another INCH!! I blame my buddy Jose'.

How come I didn't remember them looking so darned cute when they were swimming BEFORE I went into the hospital? I mean, I KNOW they are cuties, but I think I snapped about 400 pics of them that day... unstoppable.

And there's Grammie swimming with the boys - mommy is on shore ticked that she can't swim too!! But, Day Numero Uno. Follow rules. There could be spies at every turn!!!

And then today. Our doppler went great for Baby B, as Jeremy told you already. I was really nervous for some reason today too, just had this odd feeling like someone was going to try and spite me and be like "you thought you were better off on your own, eh? not so fast, smarty pants." And I was really jittery and, OK, emotional. At first I thought that I was just SO HAPPY to be out yesterday... but what is with the emotional out bursts?? I CRIED yesterday describing how good the boys were to Jeremy when they were gone golfing. That's right. CRIED. And in the ultrasound room today, yeah, sissy T CRIED when she saw how good Baby B's doppler was. CRIED AGAIN.

Hormones, anyone? Did anyone else find that it kicks into over-drive the closer you get to the finish line? I honestly don't remember this with either our twin or single pregnancy... and they WARNED ME that high muliples carry (among other things) HIGH HORMONES. But I am SO EVEN STEVEN, right?

Bueller?

Never mind that comment. But I do need to get a freaking grip all the sudden.

Anyhow, after our radical results (I just liked the sound of that!) we had to say our good byes to Papa who headed home today. Please say a little prayer for him as he tries to get things in place to support our family up north. And, we've stolen Grammie for a second week... sorry Papa! The boys were sad to see him go- the ADORE this man!

We quickly headed to the beach for a SOCIAL GATHERING (my first in a week!!!) afterwards!! FIRE UP MAMA T!!! We met up with Heidi, Beth, and Katie (and all the chitlins) as well as a drop in visit by Lisa and her girlfriend - HOW FUN!! Not everyone made it in this pic - especially the boys of the group - but you know the LADIES were all about representing!!

And here's Heidi, Beth, and I... we have been known to do some damage in a little town called Curtis, MI... or Vegas... but that seems like it might've been in a different lifetime right about now... I'll just REMEMBER how good those concoctions were...

So, until tomorrow... here's the 31 week belly pics - again - not that you need them now that I show you my belly in every stinking picture =) I have only 10 days to savor this pregnancy and all the miracles surrounding it... each night I lay and rub my belly enjoying the movements from our babies within... it's SUCH A CRAZY COOL CIRCUS in there... and I know that there is a very real chance this is our last pregnancy.... so it honestly makes me sad... OK, makes me cry, lately (see above issues). I truly do LOVE being pregnant... and as little sleep as I get, and as heavy as this belly is, and as much as I miss my gym and rough housing with our boys (and other un-mentionables that I am not allowed to do too in this "condition"... cough, cough...) - nothing compares to the ultimate gift of growing God's precious creations within me. I feel so honored to have been chosen for this role of mother of 7 - and pray that I remember this special time of pregnancy in my life forever.

And so, in closing tonight (FINALLY, I know...) I'd just like to re-iterate our thanks to the Wickstrom family for being the catalysts in this continued string of crazy good news. It's not by chance or luck - we know that God sent your family that day to touch our lives once again and begin the whirlwind of continual blessings, beginning with our called meeting with Dr. Madion that day. Thank you.

Good night, all. Please pray for continued health of all our babies and a healthy delivery on August 7th!!!






















She is Out


Just to clarify something:

Tonya is out. She is out of the hospital. She is most likely at West End Beach.

If not at the beach, check the kitchen at The Manor...

This Omen Thing by Lew

Maybe I'm nuts, but I believe it. Maybe a bit over the top. Maybe yeah. But I'm telling all you, all our prayers, your prayers, all that stuff - it works. I mean it. Yes, if The Quads were born today could they all be fine, developmentally wise? Yes. But, chances of that are greater the longer they are in the womb. So, to me, to Tonya, to us, these last 10 days are priceless.

Baby B displayed very good readings at today's Doppler. Well, very good compared to previous. Although Tonya and I are only pretending to be doctors, we think the flow in Baby B is looking really good. In fact, Baby B's number were right in there with Baby A's!

I honestly believe that Tonya is better off out of the hospital. Does that make sense? No. Is Tonya normal? Absolutely not. I'm telling you, if you haven't seen her, I mean it when I say she is a freak of nature! She is approaching 12 pounds of baby in her belly! She goes to the damn beach! It's nuts! It makes some people whoosy for crying out loud - both the sight of her at the beach and the fact that she has almost 12 pounds of baby in her and she is at the beach!

I think Baby B is pumped up as all gettup to be out of that damn hospital. The f'er told me so. See, me and Baby B have this thing. I won't reveal why until after they are born (that has nothing to do with potential gender). I'm thinking Baby B may be the runt of the litter, but a scrapy little runt. So, I have kind of taken to talking to Baby B, just in my head, which may or may not confirm my nuttiness. But since decisions of late have been hinging on Baby B, I've just kind of been chatting, maybe coaching would be more descript, to take some of the pressure of Baby B. I mean shit, poor kid isn't even 0 yet. That's zero as in age...Anyway, so Baby B got one dose of that hospital shit and got it's shit back together. Bingo.

So, life is back to normal at The Manor, for the most part.

Tonya's freedom does come with some stipulations. She has an "area" that she is confined to. That area includes The Manor, the hospital, and West End Beach. We'll call it The Munson Triangle. Yeah, I know, she negotiated herself to the beach. It's Tonya, she could practically sell a thermometer to a theromostat. Anyway, also, she cannot care for the boys. That's a no brainer. Tonya's mom continues to sacrifice her life for us. Amazing. Dr. M asked to be sure that there aren't any "Tonya sightings" anywere...that has us laughing!

Tonya has identified two positives from the hospital - ability to take a super long shower without the boys interfering and huge ass chicken salads!

So, I will be going to GFS today to buy pounds and pounds of chicken for Tonya to put in her salads. I'm telling you, that broad can eat an acre of salad a day! I will be doing all that I can to keep Tonya eating. We want The Quads to get to 3 pounds. That is a personal goal. Actually, I think I just made that personal goal, but it sounds like a good goal. Tonya will tell everyone that eating more will not necessarily make the babies bigger, but at this point, I don't give a crap about what anyone else says, she's gonna eat and she's gonna eat lots!

Finally, the Dopplers have been getting a bit more difficult for the ultrasound staff. They do such a wonderful job and they are all so nice. We love going in to get these Doppler things done - it's fun to us! Heck, we get to see The Quads everyday, which is awesome and we get to evaluate the data and give our interpretations, basically a remedial doctor, if you will, which too is awesome. Remedial as in like slow upstairs. So today, I was commenting on flow or something, probably sounding like more of a jackass than anything else, and the nurse looks at me and sort of gestures handing the probe to me and says "here, you want to do this, you want to try and keep all these babies in here straight", or something to that effect. She was joking, of course. Of course, my first thought was "gimme that thing, I'll do some ultrasounding!"

So let's all pray for Jeremy in the hopes of him sitting in the ultrasound chair this week.

Dr. Lew

Sunday, July 27, 2008

The Omen by Lew


Okay, so I have done a bit of "thanking" on a previous blog or two. I don't believe I have made mention of anyone in particular. I have my reasons for that, and I will eventually be able to give all you a hug. I have to make mention of some names in this blog.

Both Tonya and I believe that everything happens for a reason.

Ben and Jen Wickstrom, we thank you. Everyone, we thank you. Ben and Jen made a delivery to us on Saturday. A delivery that no one knew about, not even them. Well, maybe one or two others, but I can't decide how much pull our angel has over the man. Ben and Jen dropped of an omen.

The Wicksrom family stopped by the hospital to visit on their way to the UP for the annual camping trip that our college crew goes on. We got to meet their two cool kids, Natalie and Alec, and their two cool kids got to meet our two cool kids. Their visit coincided with one of Tonya's outside excursions, which was great. Unfortunately, our visit got cut short. As we were visiting, Tonya received a telephone call from the nurse saying that Dr. M needed to talk to us, and only us, as in leave Tonya's parents outside with the kids kinda talk with us.

So, the Doppler on Baby B from Saturday morning made Dr. M think long and hard. He wasn't completely convinced about the flow. He needed the opinion of the radiologist.

So we immediately assumed that Dr. M needed to see us to tell us that we are having babies later today or tomorrow. I looked at T after she told me Dr. M needs to see us and only us with what I would guess was a very perplexed look on my face as I think Ben looked at me and was like "it's time for us to go".

Last night, Aiden, Caleb, Tonya, and I slept in the same bed at The Manor. Tonya was at the beach all day today with her mom and her two beautiful boys. All night and all day, Tonya was happy and stress free. The flow from the Doppler today had a higher low-end velocity than yesterday. Say what you want, think what you want, I now believe this is the best situation for The Quads.

Like I said, everything happens for a reason. I know everyones thoughts and prayers are one of the main reasons we will go the distance. We will make it to August 7, 2008, and The Quads will thank a lot of people for that.

Ben and Jen went out of their way to come see us. To see us for like a little bit. Tell me that something wasn't supposed to happen. Nobody can deny it. They came to Traverse City for a reason and it wasn't just to see us. Believe it or not, I do.

Thank you all for helping us go the distance. That is so important to us and it is so essential for The Quads. The percentages are so much more in our favor if we can get through these last 11 days or so. I think Tonya being with her family for the "homestretch" will enable us to get their.

Do you want to know how I know that we will go the distance - because I am good! Well, that's besides all you people that are pulling for us of course. But I, as in me, as in Lew, today, only moments before the ultrasound technician was going to get the heartbeat for Baby B, I say "Baby B's heart rate will be 131".

Baby B's heart rate...131.

Love,
Lew

Friday, July 25, 2008

We have a missing person on the hospital grounds...

Now I just went and did it.

Tonight... I, Tonya Lewandowski actually had Hospital Security called on me for being a missing person.

Like MIA.

As in "Where in the *%^*& did that crazy quad prego lady make off to?"

Opps.

I didn't mean it - I SWEAR!!!

I was just enjoying my third (of 3, remember) trips outdoors for the day with my family this evening - and my dad had just gotten up and met us out at our usual rendez vous spot (by the garbage can man... nothing but the best). We had this GREAT idea to order subs and picnic at the ONE picnic table on hospital grounds over by this teeny creek on the other side of the parking lot... GREAT!! My first non-hospital issued MEAL in 5 days!!

My mom had said "Make sure you call your nurse as SOON as we get there so she knows where you are at, Tonya."

OK. I will.

I really, REALLY meant to!!

But I was so caught up in the fun of eating outdoors with all my family... oh, and eating myself that I waited like 10 minutes before I thought of it again.

Opps.

A lot can happen in 10 minutes, folks.

Including being called in as a missing person on hospital grounds because your nurse JUST HAPPENED to come outside in that EXACT time frame to get you (time must've been up or whatever...) and - ummmm - you aren't there.

I don't blame my poor nurse (sorry Dory!) - she was only doing her job and I totally biffed. But what are the chances!?!?! Sooooo... I had to go straight in, no passing GO, no collecting... anything (except dirty looks.... or was that just in my head?)... and head to my chamber.

Way to goof up a great priviledge!! Hopefully not... we'll see.

And the freedoms keep on keepin' on...

I came back from my doppler Thursday morning to this adorable crowd in my room:





Can't beat them apples... that's for sure!





And while Dana was here with her girls, Jackie (dark hair) and Ava (blondie!) prior to heading out to the beach we discovered a couple cool new activities in mommies confined space:





This is Aiden and Jackie with my bed jacked up almost as high as it can go, complete with doctor's gloves on, driving a space ship. Yes - Aiden is in the process of yelling "BLAST OFF!!"





Dude - this was serious bidniss.





This was the chicken dance - complete with doctor's gloves on hands AND feet to maximize the effect when one stomps their feet down. HOLY CANOLI was THIS game a diamond in the rough (before we started to wake all the babies in the unit with our screeching... opps).





And I had to throw in this one of Caleb luvin' up little Ava... just because. Go ahead, admit it... you want to hug my kid too he's so darned cute!




Anyhow, my mom and Dana wheeled my heini outside for some fresh air as they departed for the beach... (I'm not going to whine anymore, OK?) I figure, who says bedrest has to be spent in BED?? It's just a figure of speech, right? And look at this SWEET setup I have, eh? Life is all about enjoying the little things. Roger that.



So, even though my little muncha's were off galavanting at the beach without me - I have to say that I had a pretty cool day... as cool as they come in a hospital when you are on lockdown anyhow - it's all about perspective. It was pretty cool because I had a PARTY PAD in 1119 for like 45 minutes, dudes!! So many visitors, and all in one fell swoop - which was NUTS!





First one of our neighbors from Hawk's Eye stopped by, Carol!! She works for North Flight and actually tracked me down from the Manor to the hospital - AND she left helicopter pins for our boys!! It was so nice of her to stop to say HI!!



Next Doctor Madion showed up with 2 extra peeps and my reg nurse. I was pumped to get to talk to Dr. Madion because really, up until this point it has been all doc's that are not our primary OB's stopping in (because it's their day) and trying to answer our questions. Dr. Madion KNOWS what up and he was SO UPBEAT!! It was great to see him and see how enthusiastic he was about our babies and our progress. Yes, our doppler numbers were higher today - especially B - but he continued to say great things about how we made such a huge comeback after Monday.


The good part about Dr Madion is too that he is NOT afraid to admit when he just doesn't know or doesn't have a concrete answer for something... or maybe even if (GASP!) he was wrong about a prediction or thought he had in a previous conversation. And so when I asked him his thoughts on whether or not this whole bedrest thing was "working" or if, in fact, our babies are just going to do what they are going to do no matter if I'm in a hospital room or outside with my kids.... well... he leaned against the wall and said "I don't know, and I don't know that anyone really DOES know." He went on to say that he thinks it's a good idea that I'm not souly in charge of taking care of our boys all day and being so crazy active at this stage of the game. Which we knew. But he also admitted that he finds me in a wheelchair being babysat is pretty ridiculous and over the top.

The truth is that Baby B's dopplers are showing two things: 1) we once again have diastolic and systolic flow (YEAH!) and 2) the ratio between the two has been up and down all week since I've been in the hospital. Primarily, mostly up - which is "normal" now for little Baby B - but not ideal. The victory is in the fact that after our crazy scare on Monday morning with NO diastolic flow, we are still in the winner circle having re-established flow in both directions.

As Jeremy mentioned, after we reflected on the week's results and how there does not APPEAR to be a concrete link to steady numbers with my being in the hospital... well... is it all necessary?

Dr. Madion was great though, just telling it how it is and being laid back - which is nice after the stiff folks I've been accosted by. To no fault of their own, but everyone interprets the Doctor's orders differently and there are certainly those nurses that walk in and expect me to be laying laying in my bed 24/7 with no exceptions for... standing to hug my kids... or getting a cup of water... or opening the shades... Anyhow, when I asked about the outdoor privledges he quickly flung up his hand and said "I don't CARE how long or how much you are outside. It's FINE."

YAHOO!! WHAT?!?!

"That's a lot of work for us, Dr."

HUH??

Who said that??

Oh - my - gosh. The nurse piped up with her 2 cents.

Next thing I know I have "3 outside visits for 30 to 60 minutes per day." written in my chart. Alrighty, I'll take it!! But I was still a tad bitter about the opportunity to have unrestricted outdoor time... OK, I'm done with that.

Just about the time that Dr. Madion was leaving Wendy (our former nanny whom I've talked about before), her sister Amanda, and Wendy's new beautiful baby boy Jayden came walking in!! With my girlfriend Heidi not far behind - PARTY IN ROOM 1119, BABY!!! I swear the place was PUMPIN'! It was heaven for this little social girl (even if 1/2 the crowd were hospital staff and doctors... I don't care!)!! It was so nice of them all the come visit... especially when MY little chitlins were chillin' like little villians at the beach with Grammie and Aunt Dana and da' crew. I really was SO happy that Dana and her girls were here for my mom and the boys to play with - thank you for making the trek AGAIN, Dana!! You've been just awesome...


That night I decided to try out the outside good bye /good night with the boys, with hope that it was EASE the tranition a bit... And once we had the idea to let me get wheeled all the way to the car and say good byes as they were getting in... well... take the pain and divide it by about 1/10th. It was a MUCH nicer good night for us all.





Here we are, livin' large during mommies outdoor time tonight! It was SO MUCH MORE FUN this way!! Thank you , thank you, thank you Dr. Madion!!!



Friday morning brought another doppler - BRIGHT AND EARLY (Jeremy was still in my room before he left for work when they came a callin' ) - and we were pumped for it. Today was Dr. J Day. And we had really held off on getting too worked up about anything until we saw the man. He IS the Holy Grail. And his experience with high order multiples gives us so much more confidence than a doctor (no offense) who read about it or studied it or KNOWS a doctor who did such-an-such... you catch my drift.

So... back to the wheelchair. Baby B's doppler looked very similar to what it looked like on Thursday - the numbers were high, but we still definitely had systolic and diastolic flow present so we were pumped! (pun intended?) When Dr. Jelsema came in to review the ultrasound and talk to us it was literally like Jeremy and I both let out this huge sigh of relief... it's just SO GREAT to be in the precence of this man. He is so freaking smart, and confident, and upbeat, and laid back, and talks straight, and, above all, he's a phenominal Christian man. He has prayed with us in the past... right in a standard ultrasound room... when we were pregnant with Aiden and Meadow... and were faced with the horrible reality of our daughter's situation for the first time. That amazing man actually asked us if it would be OK to pray together and ask God for strength... and we did. I will never forget that day. Take a man that you have so much respect for and compound that more times over than you ever knew possible... he is the type of doctor that is positively influencing parents faced with tough decisions about the fate of their unborn children - and how he maintains that on some days is absolutely beyond me. After all he has seen he is not hardened to the cruelties of the this life and he remains solid in his faith and sharing it with those that come into his life needing it most.

Whoops.

Was that another tangent by Mama T?

Anyhow, Dr. Jelsema indicated that he is very pleased, if not suprised, that we are still pregnant after the doppler results from Monday. He too honestly thought that Baby B was NOT going to rebound and we would have seen reverse flow by now, indicating that the babies need to be delivered NOW. So he was very excited for us - well - I'll say he was cautiously optimistic (who taught me that phrase??hmm....). But he also indicated that he felt that the hospital was the best place for me right now. Not because I can't get to the hospital from the Manor 3x/day for testing... and/or not because they are doing THAT MUCH to me AT the hospital that it's imperative I have a nurse looking over me 24/7... and/or not because I truly need to be holed up in a hospital room for the best test results for Baby B... but because he said "We are so close and you have beat the odds up to this point." His primary reasoning for supporting me being in the hospital is because of the risk of my actual water breaking or going into labor. The dopplers will take place everyday regardless if I am admitted to the hospital or staying at the Manor. And the test results will be what they will be regardless of where I lay my head at night. But he now felt that the difference is in the fact that when I am IN the hospital and I go into labor I am THERE. And we may have very little time to get me into delivery due to the fact that the babies are so little and certainly so fragile. That is why Dr. Jelsema supports my staying AT Munson.

And you know what we said?

OK.

The man has spoken.

Literally - from that moment on I was resolved to the fact that I was not going to be discharged from the hospital before our babies enter the world... because Dr. J thinks it's the best place for us all and therefore I do too.

This doesn't mean that I'm still not going to pester all the nurses about going outside and trying to get "passes" to see my kids more... but I won't mention leaving anymore. I won't.

Thanks to everyone again for the calls, the emails, and writing on the blog - we LOVE hearing from you!!! It's the greatest feeling in the world to know all of the support we have out there... and the prayers for our babies.







Thursday, July 24, 2008

All I want to know is...

Is this a freaking stretch mark???



OK, so maybe it's a little tough to see in these pics - and, opps, sorry... maybe these pics are a bit too much (does anyone REALLY care to see a 30-1/2 week quad prego belly THAT up close and personal? Ummm... no.) But the truth of the matter is that I'm pretty darned sure I have a stretch mark now.

It's right where I thought I'd get 'er first (I say first because I have no idea if this is just the beginning of some crazy web of them that may spring up?? Could be....) - that darned scar from my two belly button rings just couldn't hold out any longer. WHO EVER THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA ANYHOW, EH? Oh, that's right.... me. I'm actually pretty impressed with that scar tissue - holding out this long and all. No hard feelings Mr. Belly Button Ring Scar. I'd want revenge if I were you too.

But I'm not throwing in the towel either, folks... I will still be lubing up on a regular basis to alleviate some crazy outbreak of those little purple buggers (my mom caught me in the act tonight). For all the good it may or may not do me at this point.... but the GOOD part about this new development (because there is ALWAYS a silver lining) is that it must mean my belly is growing, and therefore the babies are growing, right? I'll take that and 40 of these marks anyday for that kind of good news =)

OK, maybe just like 10-15... 40 is a bit much, don't you think, God? (incase He was getting any smart ideas...)

The Negotiator by Lew

If anyone out there needs someone to negotiate a deal, call Tonya. I believe she negotiated 3 outdoor excursions per day. Of course she has to be escorted outside in a wheel chair, and if no one is visiting her, a nurse will take her out. But damn she's good.

Even crazier, she seems to think she might just about have herself out of the hospital. I thought long and hard today about her confinement...I'm having second thoughts. I feel she should remain admitted, but she should be allotted more freedom. Seeing her in a wheel chair is ridiculous. It's like strapping a greyhound in a wheel chair and chasing rabbits. It would be cool if she could get off campus. A requirement would be she would have to leave the hospital with someone that was in charge of dealing with the boys, Tonya would just be along for the ride. Tonya and I are basically on the same page with our new thoughts of freedom. We'll see what Dr. J has to say tomorrow.

Yes, Dr. J is at Munson tomorrow and he will be coming to see Tonya. Hopefully I will be able to come by to meet with him as well. We love talking with Dr. J. He knows.

Dr. Madion was over to chat with Tonya today. She said he was very positive, enthusiastic and upbeat! He confirmed the potential to go past next Monday so long as all of The Quads agree. So, were are day-to-day as far as Q-Day goes.

That's about it. Tonya's friend Dana was up with her two daughters today. Her clan and Sherry and the boys hit the beach all morning. Sounded like they had loads of fun.

I took the boys to Moomers tonight. Yeah, Moomers as in the best damn ice cream in the US as voted by Good Morning America or something. No, it's not a chain - Traverse City original! Anyway, we beat the crazy long line. Never fails, we are waiting in line for about a minute and Aiden blurts out "Daddy, I have to go po-po." Daddy says, "Uh Aiden, why didn't you take care of business before we left to come here (it's about a 5 minute drive)". Aiden - "I dunno." Daddy - "Well go to the bathroom then." So he goes and comes back holding his pecker and says there's somebody in there. I asked him that I thought he said he had to go poop. He said "Yeah, but pee-pee too." So he goes back, is gone for about a minute, and comes back holding his pecker again. He says "Daddy, I can't reach the toilet paper." That one got chuckles from others in line. I say "So you couldn't go pee?" He says "Oh." He doesn't go back and the boys get orders of SuperMoo in mini baseball hats. We order our ice cream and go sit down. About a minute later, Cale chimes in "Dadda, I have to go poop." So I take the boys to go drop bombs inside Moomers, which is actually kind of fitting. The thing with Moomers, its a farm, and farms smell like shit. Kinda weird eating the best freakin' ice cream in the world and all you smell is cow shit. Kids love it though, and that's all that matters.

Anyway, we go back to visit with Tonya and her mom. We brought ice cream back for Tonya, but not from Moomer's - line was off the hook as we were leaving.

Anyway, so we finish the night with Cale crying for mommy after Aiden got stung by not one, but two bees. Yeah, that was loud, and Aiden is pretty tough.

I just can't help but wonder how...interesting a public excursion will be for the Lewandowski family in 2 years or so...

ToodleLew

Feelin' the Flow by Dr. Lew

So, Dopplers for today:

Baby A, C, and D - consistently consistent compared to previous scans.
Baby B - 6.8 and 7.5.

Again, numbers are irrelevant to Tonya and I.

What is relevant?

Flow Baby, Flow! Baby B was Feelin' the Flow today! Numbers for Baby B are high, but that doesn't matter to us. What matters to us is there was continuous blood flow!

What else is new?

We are still riding the rollercoaster. As Tonya indicated, Dr. M stated that we could go beyond the 7 day window for the roids provided that the babies continue to Feel the Flow. So, we went from expecting Q-Day within a week, to continued optimism for attaining our date of August 7.

So, at the conclusion of our Dopplers today, the ultrasound tech scrolled through some stuff and up popped some charts on the screen. So, Dr. Lew requested to view the growth charts for The Quads. We were not offered information pertaining to the charts after our appointment on Monday. Probably becasue that's usually information for "qualified" doctors, in addition to the pressing issue with Baby B on Monday. Well, my review of the growth charts was relieving.
If you will recall, Dr. J projected that one or more of The Quads, specifically Baby B, would eventually "fall off" the growth curve, with the potential for absent diastolic flow. He estimated this to happen around 28 weeks. I previously indicated that his estimate was based on his experience with higher-order multiples. It was at that appointment that he challenged us to prove him wrong. Well, none of the babies have "fallen off" the growth curve. The charts were small, but I my interpretation revealed a trend along the 10th percentile for each baby, probably just a bit below the 10th percentile.
We are excited by that news! The Quads are continuing to grow consistent with the curve! Consistent with how a single baby should grow! That is awesome! Sure, they are small, but there's freakin' 4 babies in there! Tonya and I have come to become our own doctors. Bold statement? Hell yeah! But dang, when we look back at the numbers (percent chance of death or abnormalities of one or more baby and average gestation for quads) that were presented to us at our first meeting with Dr. J, we are dominating! I should calm down, we aren't there yet, and we still need to take it a day at a time, but encouraged would be an understatement.
So, despite the doctors continuing to make mention of the size of The Quads, they will come out swinging - so these dudes best be watching what they say! Especially with Baby B. I have a vision of that mofo coming out, jumping out of the doctors hands and running laps around the damn intensive care unit! The doctors will be like "Get Baby B on the ventilator" and Baby B will be like "Ventilator Schmentilator - gimme a steak dammit! I'm sick of this salad stuff my mommies been feeding me!" And Baby A, C, and D will be like "Whoa, Baby B is going to get a time out." And Baby B will be like "Hey Baby A, you know what I heard? Sheep. Hey Baby C, you know what I saw? Wood. Hey Baby D, you know what, I forgot the last one but can you hear this?" Baby D will be like "nope, can't hear it." Baby B will say "Then turn it up!"
Sorry about the conversation stuff, cracks me up though. It brings me to personalities that I forsee of The Quads:
A - The "rock" of the group since the other babies are pretty much "leaning" on Baby A.
B - Raging lunatic that can't make up it's mind.
C - Caught in the middle, always plotting something, maybe the genius of the group.
D - Lazy, all that room in there with nothing to do.
It will be so neat to see how they all develop...
Anyway, so yeah, Tonya's mom and I were at the beach last night with Aiden and Cale. Aiden was running wind sprints up and down the beach like a lunatic! He was chasing ducks, like any duck that came within 10 yards of him, kicking balls, running with dump trucks, going under water, he was unstoppable. Then Cale was walking over to get a dump truck and Tonya's mom says how cute he looks. And I'm like "yeah, he's cute, but look how big his head is compared to his body."
So, I'm thinking The Quads should be renamed from Baby A, Baby B, Baby C, and Baby D to Bobblehead A, Bobblehead B, Bobblehead C, and Bobblehead D...
Oh yeah, I have a photo of Baby D that I tried to post but everything on this posting gets all jacked up when I do it and I don't have time to mess with it. The photo is from today. Baby D got a photo taken as it is our womb-hawg and was the only baby with a clear shot at a profile. As Tonya pointed out, Baby D has been "blessed" with my nose...
Party on,
Lew

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Another Day in the Life...

If someone could please explain this one:


I wake up this this morning, greeted once again by my handsome husband, as he gets up extra early so that he can visit me each day before work... it's the best way to start a day... especially one that is so void of my family these days. And one of the first things he says to me, after stealing my heart again with that loving smile and goodmorning kiss is: "How come you look so skinny today? Your arms look so thin... you just look anemic or something."



Huh?



What on earth is this crazy man talking about? I've been on lockdown now for 2 days now doing about 1/30th of what I was prior to that in a day and he's asking me about looking skinny? Brotha' needs to get more sleep, or a little somethin' else - if you know what I'm sayin' (and make that TWO of us) - starting to lose his mind!!!



So... he gets me a decaf coffee before having to scoot off to work and I hop in the shower - the one thing I keep in control of every day to feel like a normal human being out of the gates. My luxerious shower (prop #2 to this hospital thing - ability to take as LONG of a shower as I WANT without any little heads peaking in and asking if I'm done yet? Can they get in with me? It's just me, the hot water, lots of soapy bubbles, a razor, and TIME.... ahhhhhh....


UNTIL - SCREECH!!!




The curtain rolls back and a nurse pops her head in to tell me that ultrasound is here early today to do my doppler for the babies. So much for that pampering. Oh well - I'm pumped because we look forward to the doppler's every single day to keep a close eye on all the babies - but especially baby B.




So I lube up as quickly as possible and get dressed (I've made the executive decision that I'm on a "my clothes only" thing now for the duration of my lockdown- step #2 to feeling more human like!!) grab my coffee, my water and hop in that wheelchair (out the window flies all that "normal" effort I just put in) to cruise with my escort down to ultrasound.



Today the readings were fairly good again - not as good as yesterday morning for all of them, but A, C, and D were primarily in the mid 3's and low 4's with baby B creeping back up into the higher 4's and even one in the low 6's. BUT - diastolic and systolic flow for all of the babies and that is great news!!! I am pumped - another small victory in winning us yet another day to keep these babies inside of me!!




(Please note: July 22nd hath come and GONE, folks - YAHOO!! I'm not giving up so easily!!)




I get wheeled on back down to my room to be greeted by my nurse waiting to do my vitals - they do these like 4x/day or something: temp, blood pressure, etc. and today, apparently, she's doing my weight again. (I know you were wondering why I mentioned Jeremy's random comments above) They weighed me the night I was admitted and not since, so Monday evening to Wed. morning,



Results: 7 # loss.


WHAT?




Again, explain that freaking one to me!! I immediately panicked and was like "Check the numgers from Monday! How could this happen? Is it the self-imposed stress from being here and away from my family? Am I doing this somehow? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!?!?" We are here to help these babies grow and this is the anti-growth! But the nurse tries assuring me that it is all "water weight loss because my kidney's are functioning better now that 'I'm on bedrest."



WHAT?!?!





I mean I give a couple pounds to the whole night time vs. morning (with no breatkfast yet) thing for sure - but 7#!?!? And on top of Jeremy's comments, it just worried me. So I run in the bathroom and pull out my tape measure to discover that my belly measurement went down from ~42" to 41" as well!!





FREAK OUT TIME.





So I have the nurse page Dr. McKay who's on call and he too chalks it up to the water weight loss thing... and he's not concerned in the least so neither should I be.



OK.



But that didn't stop me from ordering a big ole breakfast and being ultra-concious about consuming extra food today... I want these babies to hit 3# before we deliver!!!



Did any other mom's out there who went on bedrest have this crazy weight thing happen when they went on bedrest? It just doesn't make sense to me... but they aren't worried I guess....

Please know that I am NOT bringing this up for any other reason than we were SHOCKED by it. I have no issues/concerns/whatever about my weight gain or anything with pregnancy. I have stayed very healthy and my babies are very healthy and the doctor's have never once stated that I should be doing anything differently. I believe Dr. Jelsema said that I should write the book when I referenced one of the multiples books that tried telling quad moms to pack on up to 100# throughout the pregnancy... who is this healthy for? We liked Dr. Jelsema's theory that you can't force weight across the placenta and so stuffing yourself full of food does NOT have a direct link to your babies size (unless you develop diabetes because of it) - but it most certainly will have a direct link to YOUR size and inevitably make your pregnancy more difficult to manage.


ANYHOW....



Before I knew it my mom was here with the boys to take my mind off that silliness... light up my life! We painted mommies toenails, and opps, don't tell daddy, Caleb REALLY wanted to have some on too... shhhh..... Aiden knew better "that's for GIRLS" at 4 - but what harm in our little 2 year old?? He was so cute - he walked around with his toes lifted off the ground for the next 1/2 hour (can you see that in the pics?) to let them dry and he didn't want to wreck them! Again, shhhhhhhh....




And the boys made me some WONDERFUL artwork to hang in my room today too - Safari time!!



So, grammie takes the boys to the beach (boo hoo!!) and I get a HUGE breakthrough priveledge with my doc's today while they are all gone... Now trust me, it took some fanaggling (spelling?) - but I sweet talked my way into a TRIP OUTSIDE INTO THE SUNSHINE, FOLKS!!! That's right - a little heliotherapy goes a LONG WAY in mama T's book and I plead my case until they probaby just wanted to shut the crazy quad lady up and so they gave in!!!



Now, keep in mind this was a well thought out plan, my friends. After our good news at the doppler this morning I immediately began plotting what my next little freedom would be. And, alas, I had learned my mistake in shooting for the stars right out of the gate yesterday with my immediate "So, when do I get my release papers!?!?!" after our GREAT doppler news.... only to be met with hearty guffaws and looks of insanity.



What? What?



So, strategy #2 - aim a little lower. I knew it was supposed to be nice out for a couple of days and sista' LOVES the sun and being outdoors!! I couldn't figure out WHY they would have a reason to deny me a nice little heliotherapy break outside, right? Give mom a little sunshine, in more ways than one, and no one gets hurt - you know?



But when I STILL hadn't seen Dr. McKay (who was the busy as all get-out doc on call today) by like 3pm TLew decided to take measures into her own hands and called directly over to Dr. Madion's office to lay it on... THICK... "You're my favorite... you know that, right? And even MORE SO if you could do this confined mommy a little itsy-bitsy favor..."



You get the idea.



Within 15 minutes I had the nurse knocking on my door to tell me that I win the "bad girl" award for the day for going over everyone's head to get the call.... opps... I THINK she was just kidding... but the jury is still out. I guess Dr. Madion called them up and was all like "Will you just let Tonya get outside in a wheelchair for crying out loud?" Pretty sure she mentioned something about a heavy sigh... but maybe I imagined that in my own mind....



But WHO CARES!?!?! THE SMELL OF SWEET VICTORY!!!



I still can't believe I forgot my camera in my rush to get into that wheelchair as quickly as possible before they changed their minds.... I needed to capture that bliss for you all!! It's the little things that we take for granted folks... the little things like the freedom to walk out into the sunshine with your children... and I was OUT THERE AGAIN for a full 45 minutes (thanks to nurse Jan!!). My only sadness was that my boys were still napping and that I didn't get to enjoy that time with them (great view of the construction action right across the street and all) - but wouldn't you know it about 10 minutes after we get out there Buddy and Suzy come walking up!! WHAT ARE THE CHANCES!!?? And although I didn't have my camera to get a picture of them, I had these gorgeous flowers waiting for me back in my room from them upon my return (they'd been in looking for me prior to finding me outside)!!! AREN'T THEY BEAUTIFUL!! And how sweet....



Buddy and Suzy are Jeremy's mom's cousin and his wife that live on west bay here in Traverse. Jeremy and I have talked about them several times and are so grateful now to be close to them and have this opportunity to get to know them.... finally. They are simply amazing people that fill your heart and soul with goodness and warm feelings just being around them - what a cute couple and they are just high on life and each other!! It's truly contagious. They are also the ones who have the two daughters whom have offered our family the use of their cottages once they leave for the summer... all without ever having even MET me or the kids and having not seen Jeremy probably since he was in little league... these are the types of amazing people we have in lives- and it's so hard to wrap our heads around all the blessings that have come our way through God's Grace.



Thank you to Buddy and Suzy for taking time out of your busy lives with both of your daughters and their families up to come spend time with ME today - you left me with such a warm, loving feeling inside and I really enjoyed our visit. PLEASE come anytime and I can't wait to meet your daughters and hug them to pieces for their generosity!!! (please let me know what their kids look like that work at Coldstone, I have to send Jeremy and the kids in for a 'Mommy Ice Cream Run' and they can introduce themselves!!) And, I hope I'm not over-stepping my boundary here... but seeing you two walk away hand in hand from the hospital today - after so many years together - obviously WONDERFUL years together.... well, it just reminded me of the love that Jeremy and I share and I hope and pray we too will be walking together as one in as many years of our marriage that you two have had and as deeply in love as you clearly are. It's great to see others who share in that special bond and I just wanted to let you know that it's so obvious and so refreshing and so... touching. Thank you. Thank you for re-entering our lives and sharing your goodness and love with us.



After my stint outside was over (BOO!!) my mom and the kids weren't far behind in coming back over - so I was thrilled to see my little muncha's again!! Here's a great pic of Grammie with the boys today (do notice Caleb's toenails, but shhhhhhh.....)

And then daddy was about 10 minutes to follow so I was in hog heaven with all my family surrounding me again!!! They couldn't stay long though being that it was dinner time, so off they trod to head to eat and (sniff, sniff) the beach.... miss you guys.



Dr. McKay finally had a free second between delivering babies to come see me after they left and I got confirmation that I am NOT getting released (had read between the lines on that one already so it wasn't a huge blow), that the babies are doing pretty good and that (drum roll.......) they WILL let us continue onto our August 7th date IF (and yes, it's a big IF) the babies CONTINUE to show good blood flow through the umbilical cords!! Regardless of the timing of the steroid shots I got Mon. & Tues - they agree that keeping them in me to grow, again, WITH good numbers from the dopplers, is the more beneficial of the two options. He acknowledged that yes, we have all established and discussed the fact that they are small... but he is not worried about that nearly as much as the blood flow considering our smaller baby history. And the weight loss? Nope. Not concerned. Again, they believe it's due to increased efficiency of my liver due to more rest and it's water weight loss/shrinkage. Okkeeedookee Doc.



While they were gone I was also hooked up for my second round of crazy baby monitoring - Jeremy referenced this circus yesterday I think. It's just nuts. And I agree, that it seems like a LOT of work (mostly GUESS work) to get info that would be super accessible down in ultrasound with a whole lot more accuracy and a whole lot less goofing around. But that's just our un-doctor opinions.



They are supposed to monitor the babies for 1/2 hour 2x/day (for this particular monitoring). Yet every time it ends up taking NO LESS than 1-1/2 hours because they can never a) FIND all the babies (and/or know with any degree of certainty who they are getting) and b)keep a heart beat on the babies for 30 solid minutes. No way, no how. Here's what the circus looks like: two nurses, one on either side handling 2 babies each and then the contractions monitor floating in the middle somewhere. Tonight, we were already 1.25 HOURS into the process when my family returned (silly us thinking we'd be done by the time they got back) and we still had almost no good data on babies A or B. But nurse Jan (below) wanted to give us some space along (bless her heart) and just left the monitors on with the hope that we'd pick up A and B.

So, being Lew's- we took matters into our own hands. Of course. And we got that darned baby A & B for her!! The boys were our good luck charms!! Or just loved to play with the monitors and check out how the numbers moved... but whatever - it worked!! Look at that close monitoring I'm getting!! Put those lil dudes on the payroll I tell ya'!!!




And in the end, it was another stressful, super sad goodnight/goodbye with my boys... and Jeremy and I were left wondering (him outloud) if it is doing anyone any good to bring them by to say goodnight... because it's SO painful. All tears and crying and sobbing... for everyone... but I can't bear the thought of NOT saying good night to them and kissing those little lips one last time and getting my big bear hugs one last time before they lay their heads down to rest.... there is just no easy way to decide what to do...

And with that, we have survived another day of confinement and praise God and each and every one of you for your prayers of support. Looking forward to a good doppler on all the babies again tomorrow - and the day after that - and the day after that - and the day after that...

Good night.

Setting the Record Straight...

I was just able to get onto the blog and read all of my husband's amazing posts over the past month or so last night... I knew that he was keeping you all updated as he would give me the shortened "man version" of what he wrote, but I had no idea as to the depth and thoughtfulness he had put into so many of them. He truly opened himself up and exposed so many of his emotions to you all and he has an amazing way with expressing himself - as many of you know through reading as well.

Last night I cried my way through over half of his blogs, and found myself praising God once again for letting Jeremy and I find each other in life. I can not begin to fathom what sort of path we are about to venture down together in our journey as parents of quads +2, but this I know: we will have each other to make it every step of the way.

And so, about setting the record straight? Yeah. That same great hubby, who proceeded to tell y'all how I would massacre that names list of his he left last night (HOW FUN WAS THAT TO GO THROUGH!?!?!?) - uh uh. I took ONE name off (because, as he mentioned, it was a tarnished name by former aquaintence in life... you know what I'm saying! You don't want to look at your child and forever think of someone from Junior high or something... nuh uh.) And of two options he has for a particular name (with how his plan is laid out) I chose the "other" one as a preferred option.

THAT'S IT.

All the rest stayed exactly as he left them and I LOVED them!! So don't let him go tricking you into thinking that I took the list and burned it or something - he's just talking smack! He did a great job, which I knew he would.

And, for the few of you that DO know his ultimate naming plan, I have NEVER hesitated to give it praise, praise, praise!! It is uubbbbbbeeeerrrr-cool!! Yes, it took me a couple of days to digest the full impact of it after he launched it to me... but ultimately I told him and anyone else that knows how thoughtful his plan is and, yes, OF COURSE, how totally jealous I was that I didn't think of it!! Here I came to our big "name night" with my laundry list and he came with a heart felt plan... it is just too cool.

Kudos to you, My Hubby. The final names list is complete and couldn't be more perfect!!

And no more wifey bashing. Tell it how it is, ma' man =)

(But I am glad that he didn't share his plan with the world... this is true. Not that I would've been PISSED (as was indicated on several occasions) but I just like keeping everyone in suspense!!)

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The Party is OVER...

Just like that.

Imagine yourself leaning over your two precious children, laying them down for a nap at a girlfriends house, and your oldest son says to you "Now, mommy... you need to stay downstairs with Miss Heidi while we nap, and if you go outside you can ONLY GO as far as the car. And NO leaving to go to any doctor's appointments, OK?"

And all of us, as parents, try our best to instill in our children that telling the truth is the ONLY OPTION. Lying is simply not tolerated in our household and is held up there higher than hitting or kicking on the punishment list. It is the principle. You can "accidentally" hit someone or do it almost as a reflex in a moment of pain (especially if you are 4 and your pride is hurt). But lying is never an accident.

Therefore, I found myself in quite the predicament. I could not tell my 2 and 4 year old sons that I HAD to leave to go to the hospital while they were sleeping because that would have prompted an all-out screaming and crying fest for my dear friend Heidi to deal with (on top of her own 3 children; 7, 2, and ~3 months). Yet, I also knew that I could not look my boys in the eye and outright LIE that mommy would stay right downstairs... it was not an easy day for me yesterday... leaving my boys with zero notice or preparation for any of us was absolutely heart breaking.
So, you know where I am - and you all know by now how well I cope with being away from my kids and (GULP) on lockdown in a hospital room. But I want to be very clear that I am not sitting here in my own pity party. I am extremely aware of all that I have to be grateful for, not the LEAST of which being the fact that I am STILL PREGNANT at 30 weeks with our 4 healthy quadruplets!! And I have had unrestricted everything up to this point... and had the last 10 weeks of "free reign" during the awesome summer time to play with my boys and give them 100% of my attention... I will never forget this time I've had with them. Yet the events of yesterday came as such a complete shock to this perpetually optimistic girl, especially after the phenominal news from the week prior, that I felt as if that rug wasn't just yanked out from under me but a bulldozer came and knocked me right off the d*mn thing! I am a planner, I can't help it, and when it comes to my family unexpected turns in our lives that involve being separated... well... it doesn't get much harder.
I woke up yesterday morning SO EXCITED that our doppler appointment was first thing - we are always so anxious for them and and they are usually scheduled in the afternoon. We all headed over and actually made it early (again, if you know me...)!! The day was off and running. But, as Jeremy shared, Baby B's doppler did not look good. A, C, and D all looked fine and we are so happy for that - but they are a team in there and if one goes, the group must follow. We did not know what to expect in terms of a course of action for the babies and I when we left... but we were sure it would include more careful monitoring of Baby B's cord so perhaps another appointment later that day and on Tuesday morning??? We certainly did not anticipate the road they were paving for us... ignorance is bliss sometimes.
Deep down inside, for nearly the first time through this entire pregnancy (and I mean that) my cup spilled and was now 1/2 empty. I just "knew" that things were about to drastically change, whether that simply meant more appointments (not likely) or taking our babies earlier (I was SO SURE we would make it to August 7th!!) - the lack of diastolic flow on Baby B was serious and I knew it. It was literally all I could do to keep myself from losing it in front of the boys that morning - and through it all, thankfully, we found some AWESOME distractions =)
Yes, that's us horning in on the construction site as we left the appointment that morning - TWO excavators and a building being demolished!! HEAVEN. We were there for close to an hour... the boys swear they want to be construction workers when they grow up!!
After we left I knew it was in no one's best interests for me to be alone with the boys (for fear of breaking down) so we headed over to my girlfriend Heidi's house to PLAY, PLAY, PLAY!! Aiden and Caleb love going to the "compound" (literally, Heidi's mom lives across the street, her sister Katy on one side with her 3 boys (and pregnant!), and her sister Shelly on the other side with her 5 kids! It's the greatest setup EVER!!) and I knew that we'd all have a blast. Which we did - bike riding, basketball games, baseball games, scooters, playsets....
Here's Heidi holding baby Clark in his sling with a bunch of the kids gathered aroudn to watch Carson trick it up on his bike... oh, and Carson is Aiden HERO. Yes, he's 8. And can't escape Aiden's perpetual "Hey Carson, you wanna' play basketball at your house?" - over, and over, and over, and over.... thank you, dear Carson, for being such a TROOPER when it comes to playing with our boys... speaking of which:
The day progressed and I was getting pretty anxious to hear from the doctor's office by the time we were picnicing with the kids for lunch outside. Just KNOWING is half the battle, right? So I decided to call around 12:30pm before I trekked back with the kids to the Manor for naps. The response I got was along these lines "TONYA!! They have been looking all over for you!! You were ordered to be at the hospital by 9:45am this morning and they couldn't track you down!!" Ummmmm... whooops. How on earth it is possible with my twice weekly appointments that they did NOT have my current cell phone number is beyond me (sorry Bob if you keep having to field my calls!) - but they had left messages at our house in Bellaire (UGH), at the Munson Manor, and called my old Gosling cell... all to no avail. And it's not like we have to sign out of the Manor, so they didn't know where we were... you get it... once again, T Lew causing an uproar!!
The nurse proceeded to tell me very little aside from the fact that Dr. Madion had ordered me into the hospital (and they had been expecting me to show up since 9:45am) on bedrest for close monitoring of Baby B. I was NOT prepared for this. I still had our two little boys to worry about with NO plan on who would watch them, etc. since our family is all downstate and this was just crazy unexpected!! Plus, Jeremy was in the field for work... it was just nuts. I sorta' said "Can I bring my boys with me?" and when she said "Uh, no." Then I said "Can I come at 5pm when my husband gets off work so HE can watch our boys?" "Uh, no. Again, they wanted you there HOURS ago. Figure it out and call us when you are on your way."
Click.
OK.
Don't panic.
ABSORB information.
But don't panic in front of the boys.
Heidi sorta' overheard a bit of what was going on... and saw the tears forming... and knew it wasn't good. But I needed to make it through lunch with my kids and just figure out my next step before I did anything. I needed to have a PLAN.
Immediately I called my mom to tell her what the doc said. She was planning on coming up Wednesday to stay with us through the weekend (and my dad joining her on Friday) but her response? "I'm getting in my car now." Of course, I knew this meant she was telling her work nothing, skipping a doctor's appointment that afternoon, and completely disregarding any potential consequences that may arise due to both of these actions. But, if you haven't figured it out by now... this is the kind of parents I have... and I can barely write these words through my tears... where on earth we would be without them through this entire journey is hard to imagine. Especially my mom. She has dropped every single thing in her life to be here for me at a moment's notice more times than I can count (Caleb's unexpected birth was another instance) and without her doing so Jeremy and I would have faced some tough experienced without being by each other's side. And she does so selflessly. She has ALWAYS given 110% of herself to her ENTIRE family; single handedly taking care of her father and now her mother through some very tough times because she has unexpectedly lost 2 of her 3 siblings in the past 18 years.
My mom just gives and gives and gives... and I feel so grateful for her, yet so guilty that I am causing her unnecessary stress in her life because of the dedication she has to our family and what we are going through. Thank you, mom. We would be lost without you. And thank you, dad. For SUPPORTING mom and all her crazy antics in the process... we know that SOMEONE has to work, right? (hee, hee)
Anyhow, back at the ranch the outpouring of support began from Heidi and her sister Katy when I told them a bit more about what was going on. I was SO unsure as to what I should do. Yes, it may seem like a "no brainer" to all of you out there - and think what you want - but as you may have picked up over the course of our blog we have a tough time accepting help when we feel like we are totally putting people out. Both Heidi and Katy were like "Tonya. Listen to us. You go now. Leave the boys here, we will put them down for their nap and they will be fine. You need to be at the hospital NOW." But it wasn't that easy for me. LEAVING MY BOYS. I knew this wasn't a 5 minute goodbye (ummmm... none of them are, but still...) where I was buzzing off to the store for something and we would resume our "normal" lives in a couple hours. This was essentially the end of an era for my relationship with Aiden and Caleb. And I was all too aware of it and having a horrible time coping. I knew that once I walked through those hospital doors I wouldn't be back out for days, possibly WEEKS... and when I did the dynamics of our lives will never be the same. I have always been a hard person with goodbyes, and this felt like a huge one that I was completely blindsided by.
And, again, one of the worst parts being that I couldn't even TELL them that I was leaving, where I was going, TRY to explain, because it would've made Heidi's life miserable for the next couple hours as they screamed and cried there way through the news... and did NOT take naps... talk about adding insult to injury. Our boys are NAPPERS, people. We often wake them up after 3 hours because, well, because it's time to get up!! That's how hard we play every stinking day and I love it!!
So as I put my boys down at Heidi's house yesterday, after finally talking to Jeremy and getting his prompting that it was indeed the best thing for us to do having them there so that he could come with me and see what the doctor's had to say, I was dying inside. My little muncha's, that's what I call them, and they are just that. And as Aiden dictated out "the deal" with me on where I could and could not go during their naps I couldn't hold it in any longer... I started to cry... and as he looked up and saw those tears running down my face he says to me "OK, mommy. You can go downstairs, and outside as far as the PLAYSET with Miss Heidi. But NO leaving for a doctor's appointment still." (Heidi had watched them once while I had an app't - so it was ingrained in his head.) Bless his little heart. He honestly thought that I was crying because "the deal" was so strict and he thought that by letting me go as far as the PLAYSET it would all be OK. Kids are priceless, people. And these are the moments I live for. That's why I have enjoyed not missing ONE of them for the past 10 weeks and why being on lockdown is that much harder - I know now what I was missing those 3 days I used to be in the office. And you can't get them back or duplicate those memories, ever.
I somehow managed to kiss them both goodnight and walk out of that room, albeit with tears still rolling down my face, but I didn't completely lose it until I was out of sight and earshot for them.... thank goodness. Our little guys have been through more transitions in the past month and have endured awfully well as far as we are concerned, I didn't need to stress them out anymore with mommies heartache. But you can be sure that when they woke up, Aiden was upset that mommy had broken her word and left to go to the hospital. But he was so sweet that he had the courtesy to say to Heidi "I'd better close the door so Caleb doesn't hear because he'll cry for mommy." as he was in the midst of his own teary eyes...
Thank you, thank you, Katy and Heidi for seeing me through that crazy whirlwind of saying goodbye to my boys - and thank you Heidi for watching them until later that night when Jeremy came to get them. We both know how much harder my getting 'admitted' would have been without my rock there to lean on. As we did my final walk of freedom from the Manor to the hospital, my amazing husband did all he could to lift my spirits and distract me from my thoughts of missing the boys... and he does so in a way that only he can, it always amazes me. I don't get so down very often and yet when those times arise he has this secret little Book to T's Heart that he whips out and he can put at me at ease so quickly.
Here's a pic of us as we got into my 'cell'. My last pre-bedrest/room confinement pic with the quads. I'm trying to look upbeat, right?
Whatever is best for our babies is best for me. I am estatic that after our huge scare yesterday ALL of the babies cord numbers and graphs were GREAT today!! And maybe, just maybe it has something to do with bedrest. I don't know. The doctor's don't know. They certainly weren't ready to hear me out though after our app't today when I shouted "THIS IS GREAT!! WHEN DO I GET DISCHARGED!!??!!??" Hmmmm.... what's the dilly? But we will just take every blessing that comes our way and still take each day at a time.
They did end up giving me my second steroid shot tonight, because they have to be given in succession to have any positive effect. But Jeremy and I are still VERY HOPEFUL tha if the babies all continue to show good blood flow through their cords they will let us continue to carry them to that magical August 7th date. The doctor on call today was not my OB or specialist and was not "making that call." so I should know more tomorrow when I get to talk to Dr. McKay (Dr. Madion is SO avoiding me!!! I think he can hear it now "YOU did this to me, Doc. complete with fire spitting out of my eyes... hee, hee).
Tomorrow will bring more test results and hopefully more good news. I truly feel like yesterday was just a fluke!!! But, who am I to say? I'm just an optimist. The realist doc on call today was quick to remind me (when, again, I was inquiring about my release date... opps... am I too persistent?) that everything could change again tomorrow, and NOT for the better, so they will need to continue to monitor the babies very closely. Makes sense. I'm just simply putting it OUT THERE that if they want to release me, I'm TOTALLY game. You know? Don't want anyone wondering or anything.
Oh, and if anyone knows of any research that has been done on the positive effect of bedrest/room confinement on the cord blood please let me know. When I asked yesterday, because I just simply WANTED TO KNOW - IS there any scientific backing to the fact that bedrest improves this sort of condition of a baby within the mother? I understand and totally see the connection with things like a shortened cervix, hypertension, edema, etc. And I'm not convinced that there is a link (yes, after the results today I'm certainly believing a bit more that the possibility exists). Even the doc yesterday was very honest that bedrest is a conservative move for unknown conditions during pregnancy because then they can keep a close eye on us, and she gave her theory, which was pretty good, about maximizing my blood flow available to the babies by not doing anything. But research? None that she knew of. So I'm on the prowl... because I like to know these things. Again, I'm not GOING anywhere, folks. And whatever the doctor's tell me is best I will do. But I also like to keep up and do my own research when possible.
You'll be getting a whole lot more of that now that I have this laptop and I'm confined!! Yeah, let's talk. I am so anxious to have this time to share thoughts, experiences, and research with other quad moms and so many others of you out there who have any insight. And, unfortunate for you, I'm not NEARLY as concise as my hubby. Nor as whitty.
Before I forget - BELLY PICS - BELLY PICS - BELLY PICS!!!

This was Sunday, my last TRUE day of freedom (which we spent at the beach all morning and then at the Peter's house that evening playing hockey till we dropped and flying wooden airplanes, NUTS!):
Thank you all for your kinds words of encouragement, your phone calls, and to those of you who braved the rapids and actually stopped by to see the crazy lady on lockdown!! Dana actually drove up from Cadillac AND brought food AND stopped at a Ford dealership on her way to see if she could sweet talk them into giving us a free mega-van.... now there's a true friend =) I will actually be able to check email again too - so PLEASE do not hesitate to email me considering I've been SO HORRIBLE for the past 2-1/2 months at responding!! Sista' is lovin' contact with the outside world!!
And, in closing, here is a pic of me and our boys tonight as we had our special "movie night" in mommies bed.... the goodbye was as painful as last night's... and I only wish I could let them know how MUCH mommy misses them and wishes that they could stay with me (TRUST ME, I TRIED!!) or I could be back at the Manor with them... but I know they are in the best hands possible with my mom and Jeremy there to comfort and love them.
Thank you Jeremy for your continual support; coming to EVERY SINGLE appointment with me over the past couple weeks (keep in mind he has a new job... that's not easy), and now, coming to visit me before work, still coming to the appointments during the day, and rushing over immediately after work to spend time with me. It's not an easy position to be in as the "consoler" while the boys cry everytime they leave here... I feel bad to put you in that predicament... but soon we will all be together again. I love you all so much.